A Feeble Trip To Insanity
by ShadowMajin
Summary: With no known destination or intelligence, the students of OSH are sent out into the world full of craziness, zaniness, and all other -nesses.
1. Madness Starts Somewhere

Helloooooooo, readers! ShadowMajin here and I'm back in black and ready to rumble. As I've mentioned at the end of Onslaught, I'm back at my roots with a nice little comedy for y'all. The story should do its name proud, if I may say so myself. And now, before I let you go enjoy yourselves, the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ or its affliates.

Nice, quick, and painless, relatively speaking. Now, enjoy!

* * *

The room was dimly lit, the surest way to ruin one's eyesight when reading. A large wooden desk sat in the middle of the room, the source of the dim lighting coming from a small lamp at its corner. Papers and folders covered the desk's surface, cluttering up anything and everything that was there before it. Behind the desk was a plush leather chair, very much filled with an exhausted school principal. A large man he was, dress in one of many matching suits he kept at home. After all, there wasn't a student alive that would respect him if he didn't wear such garments.

At the moment, he had removed his suit jacket and tie and had tossed them somewhere in the room. The top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, stopping the collar from trying to suffocate him as he leaned back in his chair. One of his beefy hands was running through his messy hair, trying to soothe his growing frustration. After all, it was tough being a man with little responsibility.

Currently, he had a problem—a very big problem. The teacher's union was on the verge of a bloody murder conspiracy and he just happened to be the potential murder victim. Somehow, someway, the students of his school had done their best to drive every teacher crazy, succeeding in sending a few of the teachers to psych wards. He was at a loss as to how that happened—never mind that some students were already in such facilities previously—but right now he had a computer filled with emails and death threats that wanted him to do something about it or pay the consequences.

And right now, the Principal was sure he didn't want his appendix ripped out his southern exit, despite the fact he was pretty sure it was physically impossible. He just didn't want to be the first person to find out if it was.

Why did this have to happen to him? He was just a simple principal with overbearing standards. It wasn't his fault that teachers were wimps. Why, in his day, they would just put the students in the corner and that would shut them up. Damn those parents who viewed that as cruel and unusual punishment!

But if he wanted to keep his job and life, mere blackmail was not going to work this time. He had to do something productive, a foreign concept if he knew of any. His faculty needed time to recover from their traumatic school year and it was up to him to come up with something.

But what could he do? It wasn't like he could bring in a fair and send the students to destroy it. Fingling Brothers Fair hadn't been the same since their last visit. Plus that would be rewarding the student body's behavior and rewarding wasn't in any academic vocabulary that he knew of. Using the students to take over the world (of course!) wasn't an option either since they had the Great Hercule Satan living within the city limits, though just barely at the district line. It had taken some bribes and sudden disappearances of various officials but damn it, his school district was going to have the World Champ and his property taxes in his district!

So that made World Domination a no-no. So what did that leave? Darn it, he hadn't been taught these things at Principal School!

Ugh, what he really needed now was a drink. Scotch, rum, a strawberry daiquiri, anything would do. Perhaps he needed a vacation, or even a trip to somewhere much less stressful than his current predica—

Wait, not a trip. A field trip!

That's right, he could organize and send those little miscreants on a field trip to some unknown location and perhaps never hear from them again. It was fool proof! Not even that foolish teacher in Room 1A could screw it up!

But where could he send them? Usually when a field trip was done, it had some sort of academic use or reason for them. It wasn't like he could send them to the middle of nowhere and abandon them so they would have to learn how to survive. Only lame twits would do something like that.

No, he had to do something much more creative—something too huge to comprehend in a couple chapters of a story. It had to take up an entire book to be figured out!

Grabbing one of the pieces of paper on his desk—taking note that it was another death threat to his manhood—and flipping it onto its blank backside, the principal began writing and drawing his plans for the Orange Star Student Body. Oh yes, this was going to be a trip they would never forget!

* * *

It was ten in the morning and there was still no sign of the school buses. Hadn't the permission slips said that the students would be on the buses and well on their way to the sudden and surprising field trip that had been concocted just a few days ago?

Gohan could feel himself nodding off…again. It had been imperative that he arrive on the school campus by eight in the morning and yet, he and his fellow classmates were still at the school, just waiting for their big yellow rides to arrive. Why was it when ever one of their sports teams needed a bus, the bus would be half an hour early but for any other reason they were hours behind? Gohan was considered to be one of the brightest minds in the entire school and he still hadn't figured out why that was.

And if he had it his way, he would've just slept another couple hours before heading over.

His classmates looked as if they felt the same way. Though you had your morning people all perky and ready to start the day, they had become just as bored and annoyed as the rest of the not-morning people around them. Misery loved company and all. Many teens had taken up falling asleep on the school lawn as they awaited the buses and it seemed as if they were the smarter people around. In fact, if this waiting kept going, Gohan was certain he would be joining them.

Turning his head, the demi-saiyan saw Sharpner and Erasa, two of his school mates that he had regular interaction with. Both were just talking with each other, not caring that they had pretty much been stood up by a bus driver. The way they looked at it, they were in school being bored to death by underachieving teachers. Since they were currently out of the dreary classroom and out in the somewhat clean air, they were content to just wait the rest of the school day out until they could go home. At least that was the way it was said to him. In fact, Gohan imagined the blonds would be able to talk with each other well until the official school bell rang and would continue talking until the next morning. Really, he had actually witness the two do that. It was…alarming.

Nearby the blonds was the class celebrity Videl. She just stood off to a side, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her eyes shut. It seemed as if she were sleeping while standing up, a phenomenon that Gohan had only seen happen with horses. But he knew better than to think that. In fact, a school jock was thinking that way as he approached the dark-haired girl, a curious hand reaching out to touch the girl around her backside.

With the speed of a snake, one of Videl's hands shot out and caught the wandering hand at the wrist. A few seconds passed before several cracking noises were heard and the jock howled in pain. "My hand! My hand!" he shouted as he tried to move away from the Satan girl, but was unable to so much as nudge her. Finally, Videl released her grip and the jock toppled backwards onto the ground, holding what looked like a shattered wrist in his other hand. Videl's arm returned to its original resting place, acting as if nothing had happened.

"Wow Videl, that's like the sixth guy you've done that to," Erasa commented, looking at the girl in amusement.

"Seventh, actually," Videl replied, still in her pose.

Gohan couldn't help but look behind the Satan girl, finding seven guys, including the most recent guy, holding their arms or hands. Faint moans and groans of pain left their lips as they writhe in agony. Blinking his eyes, Gohan had to wonder if more boys would be joining them soon.

"And what are you looking at?" he heard the familiar testy voice of Videl say, the words being aimed right at him. Apparently, the demi-saiyan had forgotten that he'd been looking in the dark-haired girl's direction, even though he hadn't been looking directly at her.

"Oh, sorry," he said, dropping his head down and looking towards the ground. "I was looking at the guys behind you."

Videl stared at him before turning her head to look behind her, seeing the fallen jocks. "Oh, them," was all she said as she stared for a moment before resuming her previous position. "They'll be okay."

"Okay?" Gohan blinked. How did someone become okay after having their hands and arms broken?

"Yeah, that's what I said. You can stop looking now or I can help you feel the way they do. It wouldn't be too much trouble."

Gohan did an about-face. Though it was doubtful Videl could actually break something of his, the thought of her finding out would only make her suspicious of him, even if she wasn't already. He didn't need anymore attention than he already had.

Fortunately, the Great Kami in the sky decided to give him a helpful hand at avoiding that scenario. Down the street appeared a brightly, yellow-colored bus, its rickety engine making itself known from several blocks down. You could see a dark trail of exhaust following it as it seemed to gasp and lurch itself forward. It seemed that the school needed to seriously consider getting a new one. Gohan was pretty sure there were better models on the market.

Chugging along, the bus reached the school grounds, stopping in front of the large group of students. Shrilly, the bus door opened, giving another hint at the age of the bus.

For a moment, Gohan stared at the poorly-aged vehicle. Was there any way this thing could take them to their destination and back? It looked as if a stiff breeze could make it fall into scrap metal. Seriously, how cheap was this school when it came to things outside the realm of sports competition? He was pretty sure the school used chartered buses for such things.

Because of the demi-saiyan's internal monologue, he failed to notice his peers immediately rush the bus, creating a traffic jam of body parts and shouting. Upon realizing the massive dogpile, Gohan began picking up the protests and angry claims of who would get to sit at the back of the bus. Gohan didn't know why they would want to sit all the way back there, but to each their own he supposed.

So the Son boy calmly approached the crowd, found a nice narrow gap between the crowd and bus and slipped into it, moving all the way up to the bus door that was surprisingly empty. Entering the bus, Gohan moved a couple rows back before sitting down in one the seats, looking out the window and wondering how long it would take to finally begin this trip.

Eventually, the traffic jam had begun to disperse as students filled onto the bus, filling in seats at random, mostly at the back of the bus and moving forward. Not giving it much mind, Gohan soon heard Sharpner speak up, sounding as if he were in the seat across from his. "Hey Videl, I got a seat right here for you. It's nice and warm and perfect for you."

"No thanks, you can keep it," he heard the Satan girl reply, soon feeling the seat next to him dip. Gohan couldn't help but let out a sigh. It seemed Videl had chosen to sit next to him instead of their mutual friend. Well, might as well see if she was in a talkative mood or not. Who knew how long their ride was going to last and not talking with her at least a little didn't seem to be that great of an option.

Instead of finding the familiar sight of dark hair in twin pig-tails, Gohan was met with a mass of curly red hair. For a moment, the demi-saiyan wondered if he were imagining things or perhaps the mushrooms he had for dinner last night were having a delayed reaction.

That's when the hair creature turned to face him, revealing a feminine face with a wide smile. "Hey cutie!" she squealed, causing Gohan to internally wince. There were only so many frequencies that a voice could project and her voice had settled on the one that caused him headaches. Looking forward to avoid further eye contact, Gohan found the top of Videl's head in the seat in front of him, slightly turned to a side as she conversing with a head of blonde hair, Erasa most likely. Clutching his head, the demi-saiyan reluctantly turned back to the red-head, managing a weak smile as he replied "Uhh, hi."

This seemed to make the girl happy as her eyes lit up in excitement. Her arms somehow had wrapped around his arm as she leaned into him. "Ooooh, you're just as cute as you were in that filler episode we were in together."

Filler episode? Which one? He had been in a lot of them at this point so she was gonna have to be a bit more specific. Hmm, it definitely couldn't have been his ones as a young boy and he wasn't aware of any during the last seven years or so. He did have a string of them recently though, and—

Oh…now he remembered. Which one, he wasn't sure, but he was positive it had something embarrassing involved. After all, that seemed to be his luck since he started coming to this school.

"Umm, thanks," he replied once he had somewhat figured out the filler character. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"

"Uh huh!" she nodded her head enthusiastically. "Much too long in my opinion. If anything, teddy bears are, like, my favorite animal!"

Ugh, the pounding in his head was getting worse with every word she said. Damn that sound frequency! And the speed that she talked with; it was as if she had put ten spoonfuls of sugar into her coffee or something. Hmm, that sounded familiar for some reason. "Umm, that's nice," the Son boy said as he left his musings.

The girl looked at him with a big smile before leaning her head back on his shoulder. Looking forward once more, Gohan had a feeling he was in for a long trip.

* * *

Interesting factoid on this chapter. The filler character's voice causing Gohan a headache is actually based on a true story. I met a girl my first year in college and every word she said gave me a headache, though no fault of her own. Her voice was just that right frequency to do it. Don't y'all just love storytime?


	2. Insanity Comes in More Than One Package

I suppose this one needs a disclaimer too. I've used it before, but you know how them Hollywood types like to keep their intellectual property safe. So, here it goes.

Disclaimer 2: Don't own _Coming to America_'s McDowell's restaurant.

* * *

The bus had barely gotten to the end of the street and already this field trip felt like an eternity to the Son boy. Seriously, how did one get away from a clingy girl with a motor mouth? There weren't any other seats on the bus to move to, unfortunately, and his headache was getting worse and worse.

"This is such an awesome day! I can't believe they're letting us out of that dumpy old school. Maybe they're sending us somewhere romantic. Oh! Wouldn't that be great! It's as if they knew we would be sitting together!"

Gohan's attention fell onto the window, wondering if the glass would be sharp enough to cut him. A few good bangs with his head would be enough to break it, but for some reason he had the feeling any effort would be wasted. His only chance at retaining some of his sanity would have to come on angel wings and perhaps a potty break. Hmm, come to think of it, he could feel the urge come—

"Hey, could you keep it down? You're giving me a headache."

Or perhaps in the form of a still-annoyed Videl. Huh, perhaps he really should consider thinking of door number threes in the future.

"I wasn't talking to you," he heard the red-haired girl retort, clearly irritated that her spiel had been interrupted.

"Well, I can hear you and you haven't taken a breath since the bus started moving," he heard Videl say. Though he was grateful the Satan girl was taking charge of silencing…uhhh, what was her name again? Gohan always had trouble remembering filler character names. Well, anyways, though grateful, he didn't want to attract the Satan girl's attention, lest she turn her sights onto him.

"You're just jealous I'm sitting next to a cute guy," the girl shot back.

"Well, Angela is right about Gohan," Erasa piped in. "He is cute."

"Oh, woe is me, I'm not sitting to someone with an extra body part attached," Videl replied sarcastically. "How can I live with myself?"

Angela smirked, seeming to not notice the mockery thrown right at her. However, anything she could say was rudely interrupted when a loud commotion was heard at the back of the bus, catching the attention of everyone seated at the front.

It was just a large smoke cloud sitting right in the middle of the bus aisle, random arms and legs popping in and out at the surface. Gohan was pretty sure he had seen such phenomenon in the cartoons that Goten watched when ever he could. There were cheers and cries of "Fight! Fight! Fight!" and "Twenty bucks on the red head!" that could be heard from all around the cloud. For a moment, Gohan felt that he should probably try to stop the fight, even though that was considered way above his all-important school status. Curse his inability to lift a feather without raising suspicion!

The Son boy heard movement behind him. Turning to look, he saw Videl moving to get into the aisle, fully intent on stopping the fight.

However, the bus driver beat her to the punch. Watching the fight from his overhead mirror, he soon realized his pick to win was losing. How he managed to see what was within the fight cloud was beyond the demi-saiyan, but perhaps it was the fact he had experience from having many a fight on his bus. So once he had seen an unfavorable outcome for his wallet, he slammed on the breaks, causing everyone in their seats to slam into the back of the seat they were sitting behind. Those who were unfortunate to not be in their seats, aka the bus warriors, went flying down the aisle, bouncing on the ground like pinballs. They came to a stop eventually, but not until a couple of students had hit the front window.

"Everyone, back in their seats!" the bus driver shouted, his voice brokering no argument. "Don't make me bring out my whooping stick!"

The seated students shrank into their seats like hermit crabs into their shells. In fact, there were some oversized seashells with pairs of eyes blinking from within their depths in a few of the seats. The students that were sprawled about the bus aisle scrambled to their seats, many of them with limps.

That only left the two students that were crumpled at the front of the bus. If Gohan was seeing them correctly, he could've sworn they were unconscious.

"Oh, I see we have some people who think they're too good to listen to the bus driver," the bus driver said, standing over their concussed bodies. There was even drool leaving their mouths. "Well, I'm just gonna have to make an example out of you."

Opening the bus doors, he lifted one of the students and tossed them off the bus. The other student followed soon after. "Good riddance!" the bus driver shouted before closing the door and hitting the gas pedal.

The bus groaned to life as it lurched forward. Gohan couldn't help but look out the window and watch the two still unconscious students lying on the side of the road, not moving a muscle. He hoped they'd be alright.

"Videl, are you going to do anything about that?" he heard Erasa whisper.

"Sorry, no, I don't feel like getting thrown off the bus of a power-hungry bus driver," was the dark-haired girls reply.

Well, that was the end of that, Gohan mused. Looking forward, he completely missed the lack of warmth next to him. Apparently Angela had let go of his closest body part and forgot to recling. Life's small miracles.

* * *

It was awhile before anyone could summon the courage or brain-deadness to interact with the bus driver. No one wanted to challenge the man's authority since he seemed inclined to exercise it with the least of provocation. One only had to ask the students he had tossed off already, that is if they hadn't been found by someone sexually depraved.

Eventually though, a teacher, who had somehow snuck onto the bus without anyone noticing—teenagers were self-absorbed after all—worked up a sufficient amount of courage to speak to the driver. "U-u-um sir? M-mr. Bus Driver? I be-believe a place to stop for l-lunch would be most appreciated. You don't h-have to stop, but it would be nice of you i-if you did."

"Huh? You want brunch?" the bus driver shouted, almost as if he were hard of hearing. Probably was. "What kind of man has brunch? Honestly, you teachers get more pansified with every passing day!"

"N-no, sir. I said lunch."

"Hunch? What the hell is that? You better start making sense, boy! I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

"LUNCH!" the teacher shouted, catching everyone's attention. "L-U-N-C-H! Lunch, you failed reject!"

The bus driver slowly turned his head to stare at the teacher, failing to watch the road as he continued to drive the bus. "Lunch huh? Well, why didn't you say so?" Turning back to the road, the driver suddenly lit up with enthusiasm. "That place is perfect!" he exclaimed as he swerved to the side of the road, running many cars off of the road and running over another. The bus rocked side-to-side as the students heard the breaking of glass and metal beneath them. Blares of car horns shrieked all around them as the students own screams were muffled by the hit-pitched horns. Well, there was one scream that could be heard for it was quite girlish in nature and came from a person whose name rhymed with Harpner. Or was it Bartner? Which ever.

For Gohan, he suddenly found he was having a hard time breathing. That and his left ear was reaching its limit as to how much screaming it could take as Angela arms wrapped around his neck and her mouth began screaming right into the demi-saiyan's ear. Tilting his head as far as he could from the screaming red-head, he soon saw the bus had entered a parking lot, plowing through any unfortunate car that happened to be parked right in front of the bus. The bus eventually came to a stop, much to the relief of the passengers. Prayers of "Thank you Kami" could be heard throughout the bus, though softly for no one wanted the bus driver to hear them.

Opening the bus doors, the driver stepped through them, heading towards a one story building. It was several minutes after the man had disappeared into the building that the students and teacher(s)—one never knew if any others snuck on—began unloading the bus. When Gohan got off, he soon found out why the bus driver had been so eager to cause road mayhem to get here.

In big white letters written across the upper part of the building, McDowell's informed anyone of what the building was there for. The familiar golden arcs replaced the M in the name on the building and sat on the tall McDowell's sign next to the fast food joint. On the side closest to the road was a large enclosure, large windows showing what looked to be a large playscate within it.

It was a few seconds before there was a loud cry of "McDowell's!" from most of the students. The next thing Gohan knew, the group had become a mob as it rushed towards the building's entrance. Somehow, he had been carried along with the mob, wondering if he was missing out on some important piece of information. What in the world was McDowell's and why was everyone excited about the place?

As the outside of the joint changed into the inside of it, Gohan soon found himself in a clean looking room, full of tables and chairs. There was a counter at one end of the room with cash registers and large, colorful menus behind it. Oh, so this place was somewhere to eat. How interesting.

As he stared at the place, he saw one of the workers in a white button-down shirt and black pants. Red vests with a small golden arc emblem on the left side were over the shirt, along with a small name tag clipped onto the vest. The worker seemed extremely focused on the floor, scrubbing it with what appeared to be a toothbrush. A small bucket of water was next to him, which he occasionally dipped the toothbrush into it before resuming his scrubbing. "Dirty…dirty…it's all so dirty…" he could faintly hear the young man mumble.

At one of the cashiers, a girl about his age wore the same uniform, along with a very big smile. "Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?" she asked.

And as fate would have it, the bus driver was the man to which she asked the question. "I'd like the Big Mic meal, special sized, but with a regular drink," he said.

"Will that be all?" she replied.

"Yep and it'll be for here."

The girl paused for a moment, her smile still in place. Then, "Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?"

The bus driver frowned. "I already ordered."

"You have? Then could you repeat your order?"

"I'd like the Big Mic meal, special si—"

"Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?" the cashier girl interrupted.

Gohan could've sworn the bus driver's face slowly became red. In anger. "Big Mic meal," he growled through gritted teeth. "Special sized. Regular drink."

"Will that be all for you?"

"Yes."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

"…here."

The girl paused. "Welcome to McDowell's, may I take—"

"What is wrong with you?" the bus driver shouted, steam blowing out of his ears. "I've ordered three times already! Get it through your head! Big Mic meal, special sized, regular drink! What is so hard about that?"

The girl blinked at him. Then she said "Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?"

The bus driver scream, looking like he was about to dive over the counter and strangle the poor girl. Fortunately for her, the McDowell's manager appeared, dressed in the same white shirt, black pants combo, but with a black tie instead of vest. "I'm sorry sir, I couldn't help but hear your scream of frustration. May I ask what the problem is?"

"This idiot behind the counter is too stupid to take my order!" the bus driver shouted, turning his murderous eyes on the manager.

The manager looked at the cashier girl before looking back at the bus driver. "Plum's not stupid, she just has a terrible short-term memory," he said. "That's no reason to call someone stupid."

"Terrible? How terrible?" the bus driver asked dubiously.

"Plum can remember everything up to ten seconds before she forgets," the manager said proudly. "It used to be nine."

"You mean this girl can't remember anything beyond ten second intervals?"

"Yep."

The bus driver seemed stunned. "But…how…why…but…" he sputtered before saying "Why would you hire someone like that?"

"Keeps employee wages low," the manager shrugged. "The asylum out back loves it when we take their nutjobs off their hands."

Plum looked at the manager. "That's not a very nice thing to say," she said to him, looking a bit peeved. However, before the manager could apologize, she suddenly whipped her head back to the bus driver and said "Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?" There was no trace in her eyes that showed she remembered the previous conversation.

Gohan slowly turned his head to stare at the boy still scrubbing the floor. He was taken back when he saw the tile he had been brushing had been worn away, showing the concrete slab beneath it. If he was a patient at this asylum, then the demi-saiyan had to believe he was a germophobe who had a breakdown from his phobia. In fact, there was a window in the direction the Son boy was looking, revealing the very mental hospital the manager had been speaking of.

Gohan's turned his attention back to the counter, hearing the bus driver say "Just get me a Joyful meal and making it quick." Then there was some grumbling about keeping his girlish figure, but Gohan choose not to acknowledge that. He had a feeling there was going to be more things like this down the line and there was no telling how far it would stretch his sanity.

Yep, this was gonna be a loooooooong trip.

* * *

To UltimateGohan42: And here's the second chapter. Hopefully the pace has gone up.


	3. Welcome to the Loony Bin

Gohan was satisfied. Not full, but satisfied.

Despite the slight obstacle of ten-second Plum, the class had been able to order and eat their totally awesome, yet totally health detrimental McDowell's food. Though they had to settle for several orders of Joyful meals—about a metric ton when it was all said and done—it was just enough to sate the appetites of many teenage stomachs.

Unfortunately though, the bus driver was still at the counter trying to order his quite specific McDowell's worth meal. It appeared he was on the verge of a heart attack with how red the man's face was. If he wasn't careful, he could jeopardize his health trying to get that artery-clogging food.

Some people just couldn't win.

"Videl!" Gohan suddenly heard someone shout. Since the demi-saiyan was sitting at the table the Satan girl was at, it was natural for him to give his attention to a desperate-looking student as he charged at their table. For a moment, it looked as if the student was going to crash into the table, causing the Son boy to unconsciously grip onto a half-finished Joyful meal box.

Sharpner seemed to think the same way, but his reaction was completely different. Seeing a way to score some points with a certain dark-haired individual—not Gohan, in case anyone was wondering—the blond jock stood up to shield the table from the charging young man. Unfortunately for Sharpner, a small puddle of spilt soda just happened to be right next to their table; a puddle that Sharpner just happened to step in and lose his footing, causing his foot to slide out in front of him and his other to stay in place. The result was a resounding ripping of pants and a high-pitched cry of pain.

Yet, the action had the positive affect of stopping the desperate student, his hands reaching down to his groin as he held himself gently. A look of horror was on his face as he saw Sharpner in the splits position, the same look that was on almost every male face in the restaurant. Even Gohan had moved one of his hands from his coveted Joyful meal box to protectively guard his special place from any residue pain floating about.

"Umm, Videl," the teen said, his voice unconsciously going up a couple octaves. "We have a problem. A bunch of kids went into the big room here and discovered a huge maze of plastic and fiberglass. Everyone was curious as to what it was and went to explore it, but they haven't come out. We've sent a couple of people to go look for them, but they haven't returned either. I even went in there but only managed to get out a couple minutes ago. Videl, we need your help."

Videl stared at the teen for a moment before saying, "So let me get this straight. A bunch of the students are lost in the playscate."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"And you want me to go look for them."

"Uh huh."

There was a moment that Videl just stared at the teen before letting out an exasperated sigh, shaking her. Gohan faintly heard the girl murmur "Sometimes I'm just too nice to these people."

"Alright," the Satan girl then said, getting out of her chair. "Lead the way."

Curious, Gohan got up as Videl and the student left, following behind them to see what exactly was going on. He failed to notice Sharpner still in the splits, trying to figure out the best way to get out of the position without causing anymore necessary pain. As they reached the playscate, Gohan sweatdropped as he became witness to a harden plastic obstacle course. Just looking at it, one could see that it wasn't very big, going up to possibly three stories. It ran the length of the room, which at most was twenty feet if the Son boy wasn't mistaken. All in all, it would take a person trying their hardest to get lost in it.

Who would've thought a teenager would be such a person?

Videl seemed to be having the same thoughts as her facial expression deadpanned. "Our classmates got lost in that thing?" she asked, not even trying to mask her annoyance.

"Yeah, this is the place," the student said, not sounding as if he caught Videl's tone. "It's a whole 'nother world in there."

"I bet," Videl said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. That was when she took notice of the demi-saiyan's presence. "And what are you doing here?"

Gohan looked towards the smaller girl. "Oh, I just wanted to see what exactly the place where our classmates got lost. It doesn't look like much…"

"Yeah," she agreed, turning to look back at the playscate. "Hard to believe they ever made it out of pre-school."

"Now Videl," the student said, sounding very serious. "We don't want you to get lost while looking for everyone, so you need to tie this rope around your waist. We'll tie the other end somewhere over here so that way you can follow it back out."

"No thanks. I doubt I'll be getting lost in there."

"No Videl, I won't send you in there without doing it. I refuse to be the one responsible for putting Mr. Satan's daughter in danger because I sent her on a fool's errand."

Gohan sighed to himself. He had a feeling that no matter what, Videl was not going to tie the rope around her and the longer she and the student argued about it, the more time their classmates could get further lost, a possibility the demi-saiyan didn't want to know how they could accomplish. It seemed he was gonna have to take one for the team.

"Would it be okay if I went in with Videl and wore the rope in her place?" the Son boy asked.

His classmates looked at him for a moment before the student replied, "Yeah, that'll work."

Videl rolled her eyes again. "Fine. Whatever. Let's just get this thing over with."

The next thing Gohan knew, their fellow student had pulled a very long length of rope from somewhere. He wasn't too sure he wanted to know where it came from. After tying it around his waist, he and the Satan girl were ready to go.

Their first obstacle was the entrance.

Like many a playscate, the creators had wanted a funky-looking staircase for the kids to climb up. Right angle triangles were placed in ascending order within the entrance shoot, starting with the triangle covering the right and top sides. The next one above that covered the right and bottom side, followed by one that covered the bottom and left side, and so on. While that wasn't a problem for Videl to climb through, which she did almost effortlessly; Gohan though, found himself at a dilemma. Due to his greater height, transversing these stairs were much more difficult than it was for the shorter girl. All she had to do was climb onto one, turn, and climb onto the next. For Gohan, his head had the unfortunate luck to hit the step that was above it. After all, this thing was made for little human kids and not full grown demi-saiyans.

"Ow," the Son boy said as his head bumped into another step. Hopefully their climb ended soon, he was getting a bruise on his head.

"A little too big for the playground, huh Gohan?" he heard Videl's amused voice say from a couple steps above.

"Just a bit," he replied, his tender head wearing down on him.

"Well don't worry, you're almost at the top."

Climbing a couple of steps, the demi-saiyan soon found a tube at the top of the playscate, leading into a different room. Videl's head was poking out of it, waiting for the Son boy to appear. "That's great," he said wearily. "I don't think I could take anymore of this."

As they entered the room, the first thing to assault their senses was that the whole room was a bright red that only plastic seemed to be able to make. There wasn't much in the room other than a small circular podium in the middle. And due to the place being made for kids, Gohan had to bend his knees in order to not hit his head on the roof, Videl once again having no problem as she stood at full height. There didn't appear to be any sight of the other teens so this obviously wasn't the place to look. Ahead of them and to their left were entrances to other rooms. As if in silent agreement, the two strode forward, entering a room just like the red one, only blue. This time though, they had three ways to go: ahead, left, and right. Looking to the right, they found a one-person room, with a steering wheel at the far end of the room. A large fiberglass window showed they were looking into the McDowell's parking lot.

Looking at their other two options, they went towards the ahead room, neglecting the left one once more. This time they encountered a yellow room like the previous two, except there was only a left entrance. Following the obvious direction, they continued to find themselves in rooms that were exact copies of the previous ones. Yellow, blue, red, and purple seemed to be the dominant colors of the place. Something interesting though caught Gohan's attention. For every red room they entered, there was always a small red podium in the middle of it; the blue always had some kiddy room directly to the right. The purple always had a large fiberglass window in them, showing them a different sight and the yellows didn't seem to have anything special about them. After some time, Videl frowned. "Hey Gohan, doesn't this place seem to be too big?"

Gohan mimicked her expression. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, looking at it from the outside, this place looked as if it could barely have four rooms in it, but so far we've gone through ten that I've counted," she explained. "That doesn't seem right and I doubt we're going around in circles."

Gohan got her point. "Perhaps we should head back the way we came and start over. We shouldn't get ourselves lost."

Videl's eyes rolled automatically. "Yeah, sure," was all she said as she started to head back. Following the rope that had been trailing behind them, they moved through a purple room and into a yellow one, finding a disturbing sight.

That sight being the end of the rope.

"Don't tell me they didn't tie the rope," Videl said as she picked the rope up. "Weren't they the ones that pressed us about not getting lost?"

Gohan scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, well I guess this rope is useless." Untying the rope, he dropped his end on the ground. "So, which way did we come from?"

"Hmmm," Videl thought aloud. "I think we came from a purple room into this one and there's a red one in front of us."

Gohan nodded his head before he looked to his right. "Wait, there's a red one over there," he said, pointing a finger at it.

Looking over, Videl frowned. "Huh, weird," she said before turning back." This time thought, something caught the corner of her left eye, causing her to turn that way. "That's one's red too," she said, frowning once more.

Almost on cue, both teens turned around to see the room they had just exited was also red. "That can't be right, that was a purple room!" Videl exclaimed. "Something's wrong."

"Perhaps if we tried going in a circle," Gohan suggested. "If we make three turns, we should arrive in this room. The rope's right there, so it should be easy to know if the fourth room is the right one."

Videl looked at the rope and then back at the Son boy. "We might as well give it a try," she shrugged. "It's not like we have anything to lose."

Starting off, the couple left that room, making a left turn at each room they entered. As they made that last turn, they soon found themselves in a blue room, without the rope and the room obviously being the wrong color.

"Okay, this is just plain ridiculous," Videl said, frustration starting to show on her face. "There should be a rope here. Do the laws of physics just not work in this place?"

"Perhaps we're stuck in an inter-dimensional loop where we're transferred from one room to another at random," Gohan suggested, looking about the place as if it were nothing strange.

Videl stared at the boy for a moment before saying, "You've been reading science-fiction stories lately, haven't you?"

"Yeah, why?"

Videl just shook her head before heading into a red room. Gohan followed quickly behind her, not wanting to be separated by the inter-dimensional properties that seemed to rule over these places. Videl might doubt it, but he was sure that was what was going on.

Just like Captain Kurt would say it was.

As the demi-saiyan entered the room, he saw Videl sit down on the podium, letting out a deep sigh. "Alright, we need to figure a way out of this place," he heard her say. "This place is like a labyrinth, how I don't know, but there must be some key to getting through it."

Gohan started looking around, trying to follow Videl's thinking. The girl was right to think that there was some key to figuring this place out, and if there was anyone that could figure it out, it was him. After all, he did have more advance textbooks crammed into his head than the average college professor. It was only a matter of time before he thought of something.

What did he know so far? Every room seemed to have its own defining characteristic, like red rooms having podiums and purples have large windows. Perhaps they could break through one of the windows? Hmm, perhaps not. While his Saiyan strength could do such a simple task, explaining that feat to a girl with more suspicions than a politician would be problematic. So that would have to be an absolute last resort in this case. Ah Kami, why did he have to enter this place…

Wait, enter.

That's right! The first room had a tube that they entered when they climbed those stairs. If they could find there way there, they could be out in no time!

"Hey Videl, I think we can get out of here if we get to the first room," the demi-saiyan said, feeling rather proud he came up with that.

Several seconds passed without a reply from the girl.

Well that was rude. Weren't people supposed to say something back when they were spoken to? That's what all his communication textbooks told him and if they were wrong, then a lot of his books could be wrong as well, and if his mother thought he had been studying the wrong books, there was no telling how many new ones he would have to go over.

Oh hell no.

Turning around so he could make sure all of his studying hadn't been a huge waste of time, Gohan found that he was the only person in the room. What the? Had Videl just stood up and walked away without telling him? No, that wasn't the way the girl was. He was pretty sure about that…somewhat sure…maybe sure. Hercule did teach her manners, right?

Okay, this little journey was starting to prove a pain in his butt. How did someone lose part of a class in a playscate for crying out loud! Then to lose his partner that had been sent in to find them…geez, what he wouldn't give to be able to sense where they were—

For a moment, Gohan nearly hit himself over the head. Of course, he would just sense out their kis! It was so obvious! Why hadn't he thought of that before? He could've done it from the very beginning and saved himself and Videl all the time of searching for the students. It was so obvious! Why hadn't he thought of that before? He could've done it from the very beginning and saved himself and Videl all the time of searching for the students. It was so obvious! Why hadn't he thought of that before? He could've done it from the very beginning and saved himself and Videl all the time of searching for the students.

Unconsciously, one of Gohan's hands rose into the air and then punched himself in the face. Hard. Stumbling, Gohan shook off the blow, clearing his head in the process. Had he gone through a mind loop again? Yeah, he must've. Okay, it was now time to get down to business. Closing his eyes, the Son boy began to extend his senses, searching for any sign of ki in his vicinity. It shouldn't take long to locate one, since they were all in a small…large playscate area. Nope, not long at all.

Anytime now.

Just another moment now.

Annnnnnnnnd one was appearing….

Well where the heck were they?

Okay, this was getting ridiculous! He should've found something here! Was the inter-dimensional space screwing up his senses? Was this place made of material that stunted ki channeling? What was going on?

No, no, that's what this place wanted him to think! It wanted to confuse him to the point of making an error and then it would trap him in this place for who knows how long. And he wouldn't fall for that trap, after all, his textbooks had taught him better than that. Eyeing the podium, Gohan felt he needed to sit down and calm himself down. No one was going anywhere until he could figure this stuff out.

Sitting down, Gohan let out a sigh. Yeah, this was the ticket. He could feel himself calming down with each moment that passed. This was good; very good. Tilting his head up to the ceiling, the demi-saiyan thought of what his next action should be. Hmm, that was weird. The ceiling seemed a lot further up than he remembered it. And why was he having a falling sensation? He was sitting down on something so that shouldn't be happening. Nor should the walls be within touching distance and moving upwards…

He was falling wasn't he?

The next thing the Son boy knew, he had landed on some sort of ground, which caved beneath his body, then covered him a moment later. What in the world was going on? Ground didn't do that unless he had been thrown into it by someone that just happened to be stronger than him and that strong guy was nowhere in sight! And…this ground stuff…it didn't feel like normal ground, nor did it look like it. In fact, if his vision wasn't messing with him, it looked as if he were surrounded by a bunch of colored balls. What were balls doing down here?

That was when he felt a hand grab one of his arms and pull him up. The next thing he knew, his head was in the open, along with the arm that had been grabbed. "Come on, Gohan, help me out here," he heard Videl grunt. Videl! So she hadn't abandoned him! Hercule had taught her manners!

Pushing with his legs, he soon found himself on a platform of some kind. In front of him was what looked like an entrance covered with netting. There was a thin opening in the netting, so there was a way through it. In fact, all around the room the two teens were in the walls were covered in the netting. That was when Gohan saw that the floor was covered with brightly colored balls as far as the eye could see, which just so happened to be a wall several yards away.

"Videl, where are we?" the Son boy asked.

"A ball pit," was the Satan girl's answer. "Don't even ask me how they got one in this place."

Looking about the place again, Gohan soon realized that they weren't alone. Off in one of the corners were two little kids, a boy and a smaller girl, both with black hair and appeared to be wearing ragged clothing. For some reason though, Gohan felt as if he had seen those two before.

On another side was a lone kid that looked as if he were a space traveler of some kind. Then another place held a man in an oriental formal wear, a thin mustache and glasses on his face and a head of curly hair. This one made Gohan feel a little anger for, though he wasn't too sure why. However, unlike the kids before him, he was in the middle of the ball pit; and did it seem like he was sinking into it? Weird.

"Gohan? Is that you?"

The demi-saiyan jerked around in surprise. Next to him was a young girl in red overalls and a yellow shirt looking at him with brown eyes. Her brown hair was braided into twin pigtails and she seemed to come to a realization that he was who she thought he was. He on the other hand was having a déjà vu moment. Here was another person he could've sworn he met previously. Oh woe was he, cursed with having only a canon memory.

"Umm, yeah," the demi-saiyan said hesitantly. For all he knew, this girl was some demon in disguise that wanted to drain him of his bodily fluids and he needed these fluids to stay right where they were.

Seeing that the boy was still confused, the young girl promptly tried to clear up the confusion. "It's me! Lime!"

Lime? Lime! Now he remembered her! It wasn't everyday he met a filler character that had an X chromosome. "Hey Lime! How are ya doing?" he greeted.

"I'm okay," she said, seemingly pleased. "My, you've grown up."

"Uh huh," the Son boy began scratching the back of his head. "And you…look the same. What are you doing here?"

Lime frowned. "I'm not quite sure. Grandpa and I came to the city after that Cell thing and we decided to eat at this place called McDowell's. They had this playscate thing that I could play in and I somehow wound up in this place. I've been here ever since."

Gohan looked alarmed. "You mean we're stuck here?" he exclaimed. Upon hearing this, Videl got her own alarmed expression.

"That's an even stranger part. It seems that certain people can come and go. Like Chico and Romu over there." At this, Lime pointed over to the two kids Gohan had seen previously. "They claimed to be orphans and were here before I arrived. Then there's that man with the glasses over there, but he muttered something about being discriminated against because he's a filler character. And then some other people would come and be able to leave."

"Maybe we can leave this place then," Videl spoke, looking intrigued. That was when Lime took notice of the short girl.

"Umm, Gohan, who's this?"

"Oh, this is a classmate of mine, Videl. We came looking for some of our other classmates who got lost in here as well."

Lime seemed to eye the Satan girl for awhile before saying. "Well, a big group of teenagers showed up here before you appeared. They're in the next room."

Both dark-haired teens perked up at this. Turning to the netting with the gap in it, the couple looked through it, finding their lost classmates, who looked utterly clueless, you know, just like in school. "At least we found them," Videl commented.

This caught the group's attention causing many a cheer. "It's Videl!" a chorus of them shouted as they rushed over to them. "You have to help us Videl, we can't figure out how we got here!" one of the teens said.

"Everyone calm down. We'll be out of here in a moment," the Satan girl said, though she didn't feel too sure about that statement. Why cause a panic with people who could barely use both sides of their brains?

That was when Gohan felt someone glomp onto him. "Gohan! You've come to save me!" that head-pounding voice said, causing the demi-saiyan to wince. Why did Angela have to be one of the lost teens? Really?

"Uhh, hi Angela," the boy said, though he was trying to back out of the red-haired girl's arms. "I'm glad…you're safe."

"Another classmate?" Lime asked, not looking impressed with the other girl.

"…yeah," Gohan answered as he looked at the girl. "I'll tell you all about it some other time."

This time Lime shook her head in amusement. "I'll hold you to it, though I'm guessing you want to get out of here."

"Uh huh."

Pointing to the room with the teens, the young girl said "In there you'll find a hole in the wall. It looks like a slide if you look into it. I don't know where it goes but you might want to check it out."

"Thanks Lime!" the demi-saiyan said cheerfully. "Well, let's go!"

Moving into the next room, the Son boy felt a little different. That caused him to pause, wondering what it could be. He seemed to be in one piece, so there wasn't anything physically wrong. All of his classmates and Videl were together. So why was it he felt as if something was missing?

Wait a second, where was Angela?

Looking around, Gohan soon found that the girl was nowhere in sight. Confused, he turned around and looked back into the ball pit room, finding Lime dusting her hands off satisfied. Looking before her, he soon found a mass of red hair sinking beneath the sea of balls.

Hmm…perhaps he should leave it at that.

Turning back around, Gohan hurried to his classmates. "Hey Videl, Lime said we should checkout that hole in the wall. She thinks it might be a way out."

Videl looked at the Son boy before nodding her head. "It's worth a try," she conceded before heading to the very hole of discussion. "This one, right?"

"Yep."

Looking at the students, Videl then grabbed one of them and tossed them into the hole, the student giving a yelp of surprise as he disappeared down the alleged slide beyond it. Leaning to look in it, the Satan girl gave a nod of approval. "I think your friend might be right about this."

"Umm, Videl?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you throw our classmate through there?"

"To test it. I'm not going through something without knowing where it leads."

For a moment, Gohan felt as if he had to say something about that before giving up. It was time they got out of this weird place and he didn't feel like defending the rights of the people that brought them here in the first place. "Okay."

For the next few minutes, the two teens hurried their classmates into the slide, hoping they had everyone, minus Angela of course. She had become another victim of the filler pit after all and there wasn't much they could do for her now.

Their numbers eventually dwindled down until only they were left, both looking at the hole. Turning to the Satan girl, Gohan said "Ladies first."

"Okay," was the girl's answer as she climbed into the hole and disappeared down it. After a few seconds, Gohan did the same, finding himself sliding down a windy tube, picking up speed with every second. For a moment, the demi-saiyan wondered if his increasing speed was a good thing. Twisting one way, turning another, going through a surprise loop, there seemed no end to this thing. Plus it was making him feel sick.

Then out of nowhere the Son boy went flying out of the tube, crashing into a large pile of arms, legs, and bodies. Shouts and protests of his sudden collision came soon after as Gohan fought off his bout of nausea. Looking around, he let out a sigh of relief as he saw the outside of the playscate. Thank Kami for small mercies.

"Eh hem," the demi-saiyan suddenly heard. Looking back, he soon found he was staring at a lot of black. Hmm, he had to admit, it looked familiar. Raising his eyes, he soon found the black became white, and then the white became a skin tone, and then skin tone soon became two blue eyes that were burning into his.

Slowly, Gohan lowered his eyes back to the black, soon realizing on each end of the black was the same skin tone as from above. In fact, he would dare say they were legs…

Oh crap, this couldn't end well.

* * *

Whoa, it's been quite awhile since I wrote a chapter this long. I'd really have to think about the last time. When you get going, you really get going lol. I do say, I did like the filler pit there. A possible answer where filler characters go when they're done being used, not that there was a question to begin with. Just doing a pre-emptive answering on my part.


	4. Insanity is Relative

When I was planning out this little story, I had a nice conversation with long time reader ArcticPuppet, who began throwing ideas at me. A couple inside jokes later and the first scene of this chapter was born. So I would like to dedicate this chapter to her. It's all yours AP!

* * *

Pain tore into his body, causing him to cry out like a little girl. How had this happened? Why would this happen? What did Kami have against him to be doing this to him? It was his good looks, wasn't it? Oh curse his parents for blessing him with beauty! Wait, that was right! It should be his parents getting the crapped beat out of them, not him! They were the ones—

Another scream flew from his lips, pain burning throughout his body. Tied down to the floor, there was nothing he could do to relieve the pain, much less stop it. He was as helpless as a nerd. He just hoped a swirly wasn't in his future. Pain he could deal with, but never the indignity of a swirly.

Tilting his formerly-handsome face, Sharpner stared at a figure cloaked in darkness. To be honest, all he could see was their silhouette. But what he could plainly see was a bag in the person's hand. Oddly enough, there was plenty of light to make sure he knew there was the bag. What was in that bag anyways? It felt like there were hammers in that thing!

With a swing of their arm, the bag flew up into the air and slammed into him, another girlish squeal coming from him. Damn it, why was he sounding less like a brawny, devilishly-good looking man and more like a high-pitched schoolgirl? It just wasn't right, clashing with the reality that he was indeed a guy.

That was when the bag crashed down on his groin, causing a legitimate reason for him to scream in the higher octaves. Well, he probably wasn't a guy any longer.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of several objects crashing to the ground. Slowly raising his head as he tried to overcome his destroyed manhood, he saw the bag that had been wailing on him was being empted, revealing that hammers had been in the bag as he had thought. A moment later and a shadow appeared on his face, causing him to look up. Hovering above his head was the bottom of a boot, dirt, mud, and a wad of chewing hum sticking to the surface. That was the last he registered anything as the crap-covered boot fell onto his face…

…and causing Sharpner to jolt out of his seat, falling to the ground. Disoriented, Sharpner muttered "What a stupid dream," and looked about his surroundings, finding himself on the floor of the school bus. Why in the world was he here? Why wasn't it moving? And where was everyone else? And why was their a bag of ice tied to his crotch?

Oh Kami, that hadn't been a dream.! He really did have a bag of hammers wail on his pride and joy. Oh the horror! This was the worst thing to happen to the world since the day Cell had tried to kill everyone! Where was Hercule when he needed? His groin needed saving!

Grabbing onto his special place, he soon realized to his joy that he still had an intact package. Oh thank you Hercule! That man was perfect defined and truly worthy of praise for saving his groin! Now he just had to find out where he was. Slowly rising onto his feet, he soon saw the large McDowell sign sticking out of the ground near the bus. Holy crap, they had stopped at McDowell's? Why hadn't anyone woken him up for it? Bastards, all of them bastards! Hurrying to the bus doors, the blond jock immediately saw the lack of any knob or handle to open the door and began pounding on it, shouting "Let me out! Let me out! I want my McDowell's!"

Sadly, he never turned around and used the door lever. Natural Selection at its finest, folks.

* * *

Gohan was rubbing the side of his red face, or to be more precise a large hand-shaped red spot on his face. He supposed he deserved the slap, after all he had been staring at a lady's special place. That and he hadn't made much effort to get himself out of the danger zone so any pain he had received was justified. If one didn't want to get hit, stay out of hitting distance, to paraphrase Piccolo. Well, to be more precise, he just said "Dodge!" a lot, but that was the gist of it.

Sitting back at the table he had been at before the playscate adventure, Gohan began looking about the room, making sure his class was still in the building. How embarrassing would it be to be left behind because he was trapped in some twisted person's idea of a child's play area? His mother would throw a fit if he was irresponsible enough to be left behind, even if it wasn't by his choice.

Fortunately enough, his class was still in the in building. In fact, he could see the bus driver at his own private table, feasting on his specific McDowell meal that he had spent the previous chapter fighting for. Ten-second Plum was still at the counter, so Gohan wasn't exactly sure how that worked out.

Suddenly Videl and Erasa sat at his table. While Videl didn't look in the mood to coversate, Gohan having a pretty good idea as to why, Erasa seemed to be her usual cheerful self. It was a good thing the blonde hadn't been in the playscate earlier or the Son boy was sure he'd still be in there looking for her. The physics behind inter-dimensional travel were not his favorite part of science at the moment.

"So Gohan, what's it like seeing what no man has seen before?" Erasa asked, a huge smile on her face.

The red handprint on Gohan's face soon began to blend in with the blush that was growing on his face. Why was it he was always put on this spot like this, honestly? It was almost as if there was some force about trying to embarrass him to death. "Uhhh…ummm…no comment."

"Alright, everyone back to the bus!" the bus driver suddenly announced, catching the attention of everyone in the restaurant. When no one made a move to begin leaving their seats, he said "Anyone not on the bus when I start it up is going to be left behind."

"Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?"

The bus driver stiffed. "I wasn't talking to you!" he shouted, red returning to his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Plum said, looking embarrassed. That lasted all of five seconds before she said "Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?"

"No! I don't need to place an order!"

"Oh, okay then." Another five seconds passed. "Welcome to McDowell's, may I take your order?"

As the bus driver began digging into the poor memory-lapsing girl, the students and their teacher chaperone(s) quickly made their way back to the bus. None of them had any doubt the driver would follow through on his threat and leave them behind.

And as they approached the bus, they soon became aware of muffled shouts and pounding coming from within the bus. On closer inspection, the class recognized a shouting Sharpner, still pounding on the bus door, for how long no one knew. Staring at the sight, Gohan had to wonder when the guy had gotten back onto the bus. Perhaps a kind Samaritan had helped him from his groin-straining activities and helped him back onto the bus. What a kind gesture.

Fortunately, Videl had ended up close to the door, allowing her a direct view of her soon-to-be blond acquaintance. "Sharpner, what are you doing?"

"Videl! You've got to let me out! I've been trapped in this tin can and McDowell's is right there!" Sharpner shouted, his voice hoarse from his screaming.

Odd, did he just forget he had just been in there? Hmm, most likely.

"Umm, why don't you just open the door?" the Satan girl questioned.

"There's no door knob on this door! Otherwise I would've used it!"

"Sharpner, there's no door knob on a bus door. There is that door lever behind you though."

There was a silence for several moments before the bus door slowly opened. Sharpner bounded off of the bus, looking like a ravenous animal. "Must…get…McDowell's…" was all the blond said before he bolted for the restaurant.

For a moment, Gohan wanted to stop his fri—blond acquaintance, but he couldn't help pity the boy in his quest for more food. He would've felt the same way had he been in that situation, not to say he would be in that situation in the first place, how ever the blond jock has managed that. Though, maybe he needed to go get some food too. He was starting to feel a bit hungry.

That thought would have to be put to rest though as the students around him were slowly making their way back onto the rickety vehicle, though at a more subdued pace than the insanity back at the school. It wasn't long before Gohan was back in his seat, though fortunately one red head less than before.

That was when the demi-saiyan felt the seat dip and he stiffed. Had Angela somehow escaped the filler pit? Was she back to give him that throbbing headache again? Why did he deserve such punishment? He had saved the world at one point, you would think that scored him some points with karma.

Turning to look, Gohan soon let out a sigh of relief. Instead of the mass of red hair he had been expecting, he saw the thin frame of Pen, the guy who sat in front of Sharpner in class. His short brown hair, glasses, and freckles were just the thing he needed after this morning's bus ride. Like every day, he was in his blue plaid short-sleeve shirt, with pocket protector, and simple brown pants. "Hey Gohan," he greeted in his stuffed-up voice.

"Hey Pen," Gohan replied, a smile appearing on his face. Yep, he doubted Pen's voice could reduce him to headaches.

"Have you been keeping up with Star Journey: The Following Generation?" the boy asked, looking at the demi-saiyan expectantly.

If there was one downside to living in a mountainous region where a domineering mother figure kept track of how you spent your time, it was the lack of knowledge involved with pop culture. While studying at home or training for two to five deadly androids bent on destroying the world, Gohan missed the introduction of this Star Journey television series, in which a crew of space explorers went where no person had gone before. That seemed a bit of a misstatement to the Son boy, since there were alien life in outer space and this crew always encountered that life at some point, making that statement untrue. For some reason though, the OSH nerd community had been aghast at his lack of knowledge of this show and had become hell bent on making him watch it. "You weren't a proper nerd if you haven't watched Star Journey," one of them had said. Though somehow a new version of the show had been launched and Gohan was still trying to keep up.

Much was the sacrifice he made to fit in.

"Umm, I've been trying," the Son boy said as he felt his hand move to it's favorite spot at the back of his head. "I missed last week's episode though."

"That's alright, I know you've been trying your hardest," was the boy's reply. "I do have a question for you though: which is your favorite? Captain Kurt or Captain Peakar?"

Ohhhh, damn it. He still wasn't sure which one was which. Was the Kurt guy the one with the hammy acting or the bald one that couldn't win a fight if his life depended on it—and since he was always in a life-or-death fight, it was still a mystery to the Son boy how he was still alive. Sometimes it didn't pay to be a quasi-nerd.

"I'm not a big fan of either of them," the Son boy said. "I'm more of a Spork fan."

Pen stared at him before muttering "Cop out."

Suddenly, a commotion at the front of the bus caught all of the students' attention. Everyone could see the bus driver climbing into the bus, but his hands seemed to be full of something. "No! You can't do this to me!" they heard a desperate voice shout. "I haven't gotten my McDowell's yet!"

"Nonsense!" the bus driver replied in a strained voice. "You've had plenty of time to get some food. It's not my fault whether you wasted that time doing who knows what. Now quit acting like a pansy and get on the bus!"

It was plain to see that it was Sharpner being dragged back onto the bus. Apparently the bus driver hadn't been able to get a good grip on the boy and had resorted to dragging him by his feet all the way back to the bus. Sharpner had managed to grab onto the bus door, stopping him from going further into the bus, despite him hovering in mid air. It was curious to see that scene since the bus driver had made it fairly clear that he would leave anyone not back at the bus by now.

Apparently, someone felt there was enough injustice in the scene to warrant a protest. "That's not fair! Why are you forcing Sharpner back on the bus and not leaving him behind when you told everyone else that's what you'd do?"

The bus driver turned his head slightly, not enough to lose sight on Sharpner, but enough to show that he was addressing the brave student. "It's not my fault. One of the nutjobs in the restaurant handcuffed this idiot to me."

Indeed, now that Gohan took a better look, the two were linked together by handcuffs. One was around the bus driver's wrist and the other just happened to be Sharpner's ankle. The demi-saiyan wasn't sure how that had happened, but he had a feeling that he didn't really want to know the answer.

A very wise choice.

It still begged the question of how one of the mental patients got their hands on a pair of handcuffs though. Seeing movement in the seat in front of him, Gohan saw Videl stand up in her seat and move to the front of the bus. "Just a second sir," he heard the Satan girl say as she looked at the chain holding both resisting parties together. Taking a few seconds to analyze and work up a solution, Videl nodded her head as she came to her conclusion.

"Erasa! Come here!" the dark-haired girl called out. In moments, the blonde was right next to her friend, looking expectantly. "Hold still for a second," Videl said as she stuck both of her hands into Erasa's hair. Gohan watched in fascination as both of Videl's arms disappeared into the depths of the blonde hair, making the demi-saiyan wonder how much space was actually hidden within the blonde depths. A moment later and Videl's arms and hands reemerged, a hair pin clutched in her fingers.

A hair pin? That was it? With the way the Satan girl had been digging in there, Gohan had thought she would've pulled out a blowtorch or something. Maybe even a chainsaw, if that was at all possible. As Videl fiddled with the pin, Gohan got out of his seat, climbing over Mount Pen in the process, and moved to stand next to Erasa. "Umm Erasa? I'm kinda curious about how Videl was able to stick her whole arm into your hair," the Son boy began, trying not to offend the blonde.

"Huh? Videl put her whole arm in my hair?" Erasa asked, sounding baffled. "Is that even possible?"

"Well, I did see it happen…"

"Really? That's weird. I haven't been to my salon in ages. In fact, I think I need to set up a new appointment. Thanks for reminding me, Gohan!"

That was when Videl spoke up. "Gohan, a word to the wise, don't ask a blonde a tough question."

"But…seriously, how were you able to do that," Gohan semi-protested. Couldn't do a full out protest since he was dealing with a headstrong girl. He knew when to pick his battles.

"In case you haven't noticed, Erasa is a bit of an airhead. With as much empty space that's in her head, there's plenty of room to stash stuff. She's practically her own wind tunnel." Videl paused for a moment. "In fact, I think I still have a couple candy bars in there."

Gohan just blinked, stupefied. "Umm…I think I'll just leave it at that."

"Good choice."

By this point, Videl had inserted part of the pin into the keyhole of the handcuffs. Moving the pin within the whole, the Satan girl found the latch in the cuffs and flipped it. This resulted in the handcuffs unlocking, causing the bus driver to stumble backwards into his seat. As for Sharpner, due to him pulling with all his might on the bus door, the sudden uncuffing sent the blond flying out of the bus, a cry of surprise leaving his mouth before he crashed through a car window. The car alarm suddenly began blaring, causing many of the students to grasp their ears in pain. Seriously, why did those blasted car alarm have to be so irritatingly ear-shattering?

At that moment, the car's owner walked out of the McDowell's looking very annoyed. Muttering unintelligible words under his breath, he pulled his car keys out of his pocket and hit the button to turn the alarm off, all the while seeming to not notice the damage to his car. The ever friendly beeps of the car silenced the alarm and with that, the owner turned around and walked back into the McDowell's.

As everyone on the bus let out a sigh of relief, Sharpner crawled back into the bus, shards of broken glass placed all over his body. Seeing the bus driver start up the bus, Sharpner began to whine. "But I didn't get any McDowell's."

"Shaddup. We've been at that damn place for long enough. You should've eaten then," the bus driver retorted.

"But I was locked on the bus! Can't you just go through the drive-thru or something?"

The bus driver jolted up, as if an idea had slapped him upside the head—a duh moment for every valley girl around. "Wait, why didn't I think of that!" he exclaimed. And then his epiphany died like the thousands of childhood dreams everywhere. "Oh yeah, cause it would look ridiculous! Sit your butt in the seat before I use you like a pinball. Doofus."

With a failing gasp, the bus engine whimpered to life before the bus lunged forward to continue its journey. Three car wrecks and several dead bodies later, the bus was back on the highway, a wrecking ball of carnage just waiting to be challenged.

* * *

To SesshyLover: I think many of us would do that lol.


	5. Lunacy Ruins Lives

Videl was strongly repressing the urge to kill or maim her fellow classmates. It hadn't been long since they had left McDowell's when someone on the bus got the bright idea to start a song.

Which song you ask?

"Fifty nine bottles of beer on the wall, fifty nine bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, fifty eight bottles of beer on the wall! Fifty eight bottles of beer on the wall, fifty eight bottles of beer…"

_That_ song. Now, she wasn't opposed to people trying to find some way to occupy their time, especially on what was beginning to become a very long trip. But they had started somewhere around 200, or so the Satan girl believed, and hadn't stopped singing since. It wasn't so bad when it had started, but after Kami knows how long the song had begun, their singing was wearing down on her nerves. It was right around 189 that Videl realized that there were a lot more bottles to go through. And that was 188 more than she really wanted to go through.

And unfortunately, she didn't have many nerves to wear down to begin with.

"Fifty six bottles of beer on the wall, fifty six bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, fifty three bottles of beer on the wall! Fifty three bottles of beer on the wall, fifty three bottles of beer…"

What was that? Did…did they skip a few bottles? Oh thank you sweet Kami for crappy education! If she was lucky enough, her fellow students might skip a few more numbers due to the lack of teaching ability by their teachers. Who was to blame for poor counting skills than the people who taught them, after all? Perhaps she needed to give them raises for the job poorly done.

That was when she heard some movement from behind her and the sound of Gohan's voice starting to say "Huh? What happened to fifty five?"

Oh no, she was not going to let that Son boy to correct these simpletons! Not when they were so much closer to ending this damn song and all of those damn bottles they were so annoyingly singing about. Whipping around, the Satan girl gave her most powerful glare yet, the one she had been reserving in case she had to still the blood of every criminal in a one block radius so they couldn't wreak untold amounts of property damage, and the subsequent wasting of money to repair it all. The government account set aside to pay for damages done in Satan City had only so much cash in it and there had been times when they had come dangerously close to running it empty.

Almost immediately, Gohan's body froze, his eyes slowly shifting to hers. For a moment, both teens stared at each other, neither making a sound nor breathing despite the overabundance of oxygen around them. There was no telling how long the two faced each other, not that either of them were keeping track of time. Eventually, Gohan broke the stare down. "Videl? Are you having a hard time seeing? Your eyes are all squinty."

Oh, damn it. You had to be kidding. A glare she had been perfecting since she began fighting crime had little to no effect on a high school nerd? Was he immune or something? Hmm, now that she thought about it, any glare she used on the Son boy that wasn't trying to perform a dissection on the boy rarely worked. Perhaps she needed to work on her glares a little more.

However, she had something a bit more important than glare-corrections. "Don't…say…a thing," she gritted out. "This damn song is almost over and I don't want to give them any reason to make it any longer. Do you understand me?"

Gohan slowly nodded his head. "Umm, okay."

"Good." At least that was one obstacle to retaining her sanity overcome. Turning back into her seat, Videl faced the front of the bus, once again trying to resist her earlier murderous intentions.

"Forty eight bottles of beer on the wall, forty eight bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, forty nine bottles of beer on the—"

"That's it! I can't take it anymore!" the bus driver suddenly bellowed, stopping the singing in its tracks. Turning around in his seat, the bus driver faced the astonished student body, his face redder than Red Hots. "No more singing! No more! I swear to all things that are holy, if I hear so much as one more lyric, I'll run this bus off a bridge and drag you all to Hell with me!"

The class remained silent as they watched the bus driver, their eyes wide in fright with the occasional blink here and there. Not a one of them doubted the threat in the slightest. If he could cause mayhem on the road trying to get to a random fast food restaurant, there was nothing that would stop him from ending it all for them

However, due to the bus driver not paying attention to the road, he never saw one of the cars far up the road lower one of its windows and toss out a banana peel. The banana peel landed with a wet plop on the road, sitting on the asphalt as its yellow skin gleamed in the sunlight. Every car and truck that saw the peel made every effort to dodge its daunting presence, some of them driving off the road in the process.

The first vehicle to run over the banana peel just happened to be the bus.

Immediately, the bus jerked to a side, causing everyone on the bus to scream like girls, including the bus driver. Even Gohan could've sworn his voice had gone up to the higher octaves. Grabbing the wheel, the bus driver tried to subjugate the bus back under his will. He had driven this creaky old thing for too long, the afternoon of the day previous, and he wouldn't stand for rebellion, especially with the prying eyes of the students behind him. Weakness was a comfort only the weak could enjoy and then be destroyed because of it.

Swerving from one side of the road to the other, the bus was a wreaking ball of carnage. The other cars and trucks on road tried their best to avoid the eminent danger heading towards them. The blares of horns filled the air along with the crushing of metal and glass. As the left side of the bus lifted into the air, due to an unfortunate car being run over, other cars crashed into each other, causing explosions the like that would be found in summer blockbusters. In fact, some of the students could've sworn they saw a movie director and crew on the side of the road, filming the madness.

That was when the bus swerved to the left once more, the right side of the bus lifted of the ground. Somehow, someway, the bus was rolling down the highway on its left side tires. And despite the students' attempts to rush to the right side, they all fell to the left, piling against it like dead fish.

That proved to be the undoing of the bus as it fell onto its side, skidding on the road sideways. Due to its momentum and unfortunate direction, the bus slid off the road, crashing into the vegetation surrounding the road. That vegetation, however, happened to be trees, yet they were nothing to the incoming force of an out-of-control bus.

As the first line of trees collapse with the shrieking of imaginary tree spirits and endangered birds, it was soon discovered that a hill was right behind the vegetation. And since this was a very unlucky wreck-in-progress, the bus didn't simply slide down the hill; instead it first rolled onto the front of the bus before flipping down the hill, each side of the bus making contact with the sloped ground before leaving in favor of the next side.

Within the bus, students and odd objects flew through the air, bouncing off of walls. The only person not flying around like a pinball was the bus driver because he had his seatbelt on. Never say seatbelts are a big waste of time, they save lives! And sometimes injure people with whiplash, but for the most part they work!

Then as unexpected as this entire sequence, the bus stopped its body-destroying flips, coming to a stop as its backend rested on the ground. Inside the bus, some students had been lucky enough to end up in some of the seats, though not necessarily the ones they had originally sat in. Others were hanging onto the backside of the seats, trying to prevent a very long fall to the back of the bus where there was already a pile of students lying. Creaks and groans echoed throughout the beat-up vehicle, but for the most part, everything seemed to be over.

"I'm glad that's all over," one of the students then said.

As if to prove that statement wrong, all the cosmic powers in the universe united together and created a stiff breeze. Though not as awesome as weakening the metal of the bus to cause to break in half; instead the breeze gently pushed against the bus, causing it to tip over and fall onto its long side. Then to guarantee no one would make another such statement, the cosmic powers gave a much more rough push to force the bus to begin rolling. The madness continued for who knows how long until the bus finally came to a rest on its roof.

As the bus rocked back to and fro slowly, the inside of the bus was a disaster. Everyone not wearing a seatbelt—read everyone except the bus driver—laid in a crumpled heap of bodies and limbs. There were groans from the roughed up student body, but no one tried to so much as move for fear they would jinx their current position.

Unlike a certain _someone_…

Insane laughter filled the bus, coming from the only person anyone would finger as a crazy person. "What have I been telling you ingrates, huh?" the bus driver exclaimed. "Always wear your seatbelts! Only brain dead simpletons don't wear them!"

"But sir, there aren't any seatbelts on this bus except yours," a random student called out.

"Who said that? Don't make me come back there! Damn it, where's my whooping stick?"

Despite that little exchange, the first thought to enter Videl's head was 'I'm gonna be feeling that in the morning.' Fortunately, she had landed almost at the top of the pile, a stray leg covering her stomach. If she looked to her left, she would find the familiar bosom hidden behind a green tank top. Erasa was currently one of the students moaning their current state, being as Videl could hear her voice over the other groans.

That was when the Satan girl felt a hand touch her spandex-covered rear end. Now, there were only so many people around that would dare touch her in such a place, one of them being on this very bus. Videl knew who it was exactly too. If it had been an accidental touch, the hand would've brushed against her posterior. This touch, however, was a full on palm and squeezing fingers.

And fortunately for her, her Satan senses were telling her the culprit was right by her feet, a bad place to be for criminals and perverts alike. Moving her well-toned legs up to her chest, she kicked them back, smacking the pervert with the bottom of her shoes. An audible crunching sound informed her that she had broken something with that kick, bringing a very satisfying smile to her face.

"Hey Videl, why did you kick that kid?"

The Satan girl's head jolted up. Why was the sound of her intended victim coming from above her? Tilting her head back, she soon saw the face of Sharpner, who was looking at her with a confused expression. Looking back down, Videl saw an innocent bystander clutching his torso, tears leaking from his eyes as his eyeballs bulged out of his head.

Whoops, hadn't meant to break that kid's ribs.

Balling one of her hands into a fist, Videl swinging it up. The back of her fist struck the blond jock's face, causing him to cry out in pain as he gripped his formerly-handsome face. "Vadle!" his muffled voice said through his hands, "Whi bid you hat be!"

Videl scowled. "Why else? You touched my ass, you pervert!"

Removing his hands, revealing a trickle of blood leaking from his crooked nose, the blond said "But I biddn't touch your butt!" he protested.

"Right, like I'd believe you."

"Hey! I would abmit to touching subthing like your ass bif I had."

Hmm, he did have a point. Heck, Sharpner would've been grinning like a hyena had he touched such a place on her person. Not that the punch she had given him hadn't been warranted; she was sure he had done something to deserve it at some point. But then, who could've done the deed? So far she had four people off her list, that being her, Erasa, Sharpner, and that kid whose ribs she had just pulverize.

"Bam I gonna get an abology?"

Videl returned her attention back to Sharpner, scowling at him. "No."

"But you owe me one!"

"Considering everything I know about you Sharpner, it was coming to you. So either be satisfied that was the only hit I gave you or I can give you enough pain to make a down payment on your future antics. The choice is yours."

A few grumbles by the teen was all she got in response, sign enough to indicate that Sharpner had no more fight left in him for the time being.

So where was she again? Oh right, now she remembered. She, Erasa, Sharpner, and that anonymous student who might need a doctor in the next couple of hours were so far off her suspects list. Well, if there was one thing the Satan girl knew, it was detective work. Focusing back on her butt, she found that the culprit's hand was still there, though it wasn't groping anymore. Tossing off the body parts that were piled on her, the dark-haired girl twisted her body around to look beneath her. Immediately she found the hand she was expecting. Following it, her eyes narrowed as she discovered her violator.

And then she made him pay.


	6. Getting Directions from a Wackjob

Gohan could feel his eye swelling shut. In fact, there was a slight stinging sensation every time his hand came near it. Ohhhh, why did Videl have to hit him right there? Who knew how long it was going to take for it to heal.

Though to be honest, he probably had deserved it, no matter how unintentional it was. Yes, he was the person that had touched the Satan girl's backside. He hadn't realized what it was until he heard Videl making a ruckus about it. By the time it hit him she was dishing out vengeance to anyone she suspected of touching her there, she had found him and made sure he knew how she felt about it. Normally the Son boy avoided any situation that would call upon him to be involved in some sort of collision. Being punched in the eye was such a situation, along with groin shots and other unsportsmanlike conduct. The demi-saiyan had a tendency to avoid showing significant injury, which would raise a bunch of questions he didn't want to answer. Not that it would've mattered since the whole thing had happened so fast. One moment he was lying there, the next, Videl was hovering above him and slamming her fist into his face. The combination of surprise, eyes being very sensitive to just about any kind of pressure, and the fact he was in a parody story, the Son boy was looking at a very lovely future with a black eye. Fortunately, Videl thought she had hit him so hard, it made her hand hurt, so that did help him avoid any uncomfortable questions on that front.

As of now, though, Videl wasn't anywhere near him, though he could feel her eyes burning holes into him from somewhere. Erasa was with her too, since he had seen the blonde head off with her. That, unfortunately, left the demi-saiyan in the very pleasurable company of Sharpner and Pen.

Oh joy.

After the class, chaperoning teachers, and the bus driver crawled out of the wreckage of the bus, they had begun walking in the direction they believed the road to be. Of course, the bus driver had given a eulogy for his dead bus, something of which had creeped out many of the students. It wasn't often someone mourned the loss of one of the moving rust buckets.

Of course, it had been awhile since they had left the wreckage and there had been no sight or sound of the highway. That left Gohan hearing way to much about Star Journey for his own comfort.

"And then there was this episode where Info wanted to be a mom, so he built himself a child, but the child was completely different from the way he was. The crew had no idea how to handle the situation, but I felt it was a bit too dramatic; I mean a robot having children? That's pretty weird…"

Seriously, how many episodes did they make of this show? Gohan could've sworn Pen had already recited fifty episodes, gave his opinion of them, and even referenced them again when another episode somehow, someway related to it. There just seemed to be so many of them that a wide birth had been given to the three due to the nerdiness of it all, Sharpner not taking the hint to step away. In fact, a large vein was starting to pulse on his forehead. It looked as if it would burst at any moment.

/pop/

"OW! My head!"

Gohan jerked his head to stare at Sharpner, Pen stopping his shoptalk to look as well. A trail of blood was trickling down the side of the blond jock's head. Huh, it seemed that vein did end up bursting.

"Alright Nerd! I've had just about enough of your Nerd-lingo for one day!" Sharpner bellowed, turning on Pen. "I'm gonna shut you up if it's the first thing I ever do!"

"Don't you mean the 'last thing you ever do'?" Pen corrected. "You've already done the first thing you'll ever do when you—"

"SHUT UP!"

Turning on the young man, Sharpner held up one of his hands, his index and middle fingers extended. Thrusting them forward, his fingers went straight for Pen's eyes.

Instead of the anticipated eye-poking, Sharpner's fingers were stopped short as they encountered Pen's glasses. A girlish yelp left Sharpner's mouth as he jerked his hand back. "Curse those eye barriers of yours!" he shouted.

Pen, for all of his nerdiness, looked extremely cocky. "Never underestimate the power of glasses! Not only do they give me superior vision, they offer protection for my sensitive eyes."

Gohan blinked. Hmm, perhaps he needed to get himself a pair of glasses. That way he couldn't be hit in the eyes either.

As Pen began to stroll away, supremely confident in his victory over Sharpner, it seemed the whole outburst had some benefits, Gohan mused. There wasn't anymore talking of that TV show Pen seemed to find so gratifying. Now all they had to do was get to the road and everything would be fine.

Hmm, shouldn't they have reached it yet?

Coming to a stop, Gohan began extending his ki senses. Hmmm, seemed all of their group was all together, that was good. Now where were all the kis that would be moving at high speeds? Extending further and further, Gohan was oblivious to all of the stares he was getting from his fellow students as they passed by him. It wasn't until someone bumped into him that he became aware of his surroundings. Not paying much attention to who ran into him, the demi-saiyan began to silently panic.

Just great, they were heading in the wrong direction. Instead of heading to the road, they were going in the opposite direction. Oh, this was going to be a headache. How was he supposed to turn everyone around without tipping them off to his extra sense? How could—

"Hey Gohan? You okay? You're just standing there."

That caused Gohan to jump. Turning his head, he saw Erasa looking at him worriedly. When had she shown up? "Oh, hey Erasa, I'm just fine."

"You sure? I ran into you and you didn't even move."

Oh, so it was Erasa that ran into him. That was a surprise. Well, it seemed he needed to help put the girl at ease.

"I'm sure. I just had to think and hadn't realized I'd stopped."

"Oh! Okay. What were you thinking about?"

"Well…I was starting to wonder if we were going the right way. I mean, shouldn't we have met up with the highway by now?"

Erasa stared at the Son boy for awhile before saying in a meek voice "You think we're lost?"

Uh oh, perhaps Erasa wasn't the person to tell his suspicions to. She wasn't exactly the person to be telling bad news too since she was always so optimistic. Looked as if he needed to do more damage control.

"Umm…uhhh…" So much for damage control. Okay, he needed help, but he wasn't sure who to turn to. It wasn't like he freely spoke to anyone. If only someone, somewhere could help him. A person that could speak to a frightened blonde girl and keep her from running around like a chicken with its head cut off. If only—

"What are you two doing?" he heard Videl ask.

Well speak of the devil.

"Videl!" Gohan turned to face the dark-haired girl, looking desperate. "I need your help. Erasa looks like she's about to lose it!"

Smooth, Gohan, very smooth.

Videl cocked an eyebrow at him. "What are you talking about? Did you grab her butt too?"

Ouch. Looked like the Satan girl wasn't passed that accident just yet. "No, not that. I had a thought and it may have scared her."

"…did you show her your teddy bear underwear? What did I say to you about taking your pants off? Honestly."

Crap, crap, crap! This was not going the way it should've been going. The only thing that could make matters worse was if Erasa began asking ques—

"You wear teddy bear underwear?" he heard the blonde ask.

Kami, just shoot him now.

"That's not what I'm talking about!" he shouted, loud enough to cause the birds in the surrounding area to begin fleeing. That also brought the entire attention of the class around them, the whole group staring at them curiously.

Gohan could feel his frustration building up. This was getting him nowhere. Despite the repercussions that he was sure would follow, he had to come out with what was on his mind. "I…I think we're going in the wrong direction," he said, hoping everything around him wouldn't go up in a fit of teenage panic.

Videl cocked an eyebrow at him. "What makes you think that?"

"Well, shouldn't we have arrived at the highway by now? I don't think we went that far off of it."

The Satan girl seemed to consider that. "You might have a point," she agreed. "So what do we do then? Backtrack to the bus and try a different direction? We have to come up with something better than that."

Gohan conceded the point. "But it's better than getting more and more lost in a forest no one knows their way around."

Suddenly, a loud cry caught the attention of the two teens, as well as the other students around them. Looking in the direction of it, no one saw what could've caused the cry, yet they were sure it was someone of their class. Who else would scream in surprise?

That was when another scream rang out, much closer this time. Then another; and another. What the heck was going on?

Was somebody having sex out here?

Suddenly, the bushes and trees exploded, leaves flying all over the place. Partially nude men appeared out of the undergrowth and the overgrowth. Some had even come from the sidegrowth and invisiblegrowth. And then there were some that had appeared out of no growth at all. The next thing anyone knew, spears pointed at their heads and necks. Extra spears were also pointed at the second head of the guys.

Now that was totally uncalled for.

Gohan stood stock still, staring at the men. From what he could tell, the only things they were wearing were loincloths thankfully covering the crotches. There were pieces of cloth covering their shoulders, reaching down to partially cover their chests, upper arms, and the top of their backs. Each had various war paints of blue, red, and green on their faces. Their eyes were locked on all the students, particularly the females, especially the ones with generous bosoms and cleavage. Huh, it was almost as if they didn't see many well-developed breasts around here.

Perhaps he could use that as a distraction to—

That was when one of the natives let out a loud cry and swung his spear at one of the male students. Apparently he had the same thoughts as Gohan and had acted a moment sooner than he had. Unfortunately, the natives weren't as distracted as they appeared to be. Fortunately for the student, he was hit with the shaft of the spear, knocking him out instantly.

Well, there went that idea.

That was when some movement from the corner of the demi-saiyan's eye caught his attention. Slowly turning his head to look, he saw another of the natives appear, though he held no weapon in his hands. Either he believed he had no need of one with the current ensemble of weapons or he had hand-to-hand skills that were enough to render most teenagers whimpering piles of jelly.

Looking at the group, this native grimaced. "Just great, more teenagers. Are they the only ones that get lost here?"

Huh, well that was awkward. Gohan watched as the native began speaking in a different language to his fellow tribesmen. Once he finished he then turned his attention back to the students. "Alright, all of you come with us. We'll figure out what to do with you when we get to our village. None of you make any funny moves or we will have to hurt you." When the class drifted their eyes to their already fallen classmate, the native added "Like him. Keep pushing us and we will make you sorry. So sorry, you'd wish you weren't the fastest sperm."

When the students and fellow adults, who seem to keep being forgotten throughout the trip, stared blankly at the native, he swore in his native tongue. Then "Don't tell me you don't know the egg layers and the honey makers? Tsk, what do your schools teach you these days?"

"Hey! I take offense to that!" one of the teachers spoke up, sounding very much offended. "We work our tails off to provide minimal instruction to these teens and they make it so hard to actually teach! We don't even get weekends off!"

The native turned to the teacher. "Then you are a failure in life. Even the people in our tribe gets weekends off."

The teacher hung his head in shame.

"Now then off we go. And no funny business or we may have to provide proper instruction concerning the producers of eggs and the little pricks that provide honey."

* * *

Amazing how many ways you can describe the Birds and the Bees, ney? I have plenty more where that comes from, though I don't think you'd like to know exactly where I get them lol.


	7. Perverts Gone Nuts!

The tribal village was something out of an old movie. Stick huts were scattered amidst the forest floor, a larger temple-like structure off towards the back. Oddly enough, there were picnic tables every so often. "Stolen from the white man's day camps," one of them had said.

So much for being isolated.

As the class came to a halt, the natives living here curiously appeared out of their houses, the trees, and sometimes from the ground, completely hidden among the mud and pine needles. Everyone wanted a look at the latest capture.

The sound of rattles were soon heard and all of the natives dropped to the ground, their faces pressed into the dirt, their arms extending forward and also on the ground, their backsides sticking straight up into the air. It soon became apparent who the bowing was for: a man of average stature with a wide beer belly, war paint on his face, feathers and blades of grass sticking out of his hair, a staff with a skull on it, and one of his hands scratching his butt beneath his loincloth.

Truly an awe-inspiring appearance.

"Who are these people," the man said grumpily. "Why are they on the Kuwabara Tribe's lands?"

Gohan could feel an unknown feeling of relief well up inside him. He had no idea why it was there, but he didn't really mind it. To be honest, he had thought the tribe would've been named Tatewaki for some reason. Not too sure why though.

The tribesman who had been in charge of their capture stepped forward. "We found these people walking about our lands. We felt it urgent we bring them to you."

The man, the chief Gohan believed he was called, stared at his underling. "And why do we need a bunch of miserable kids? I told you already, if there's any way these people can get alimony off of me, I don't want them!"

The tribesman bowed his head then looked back up. "Umm Chief, unless you've been sowing your seeds in the civilized world again, I believe none of these people have any cause to do that."

"I already told you, the gods had ordered me to spread my honey to forty women in forty nights or else the world would be flooded and you all would be dead. I had to make a sacrifice so you would live. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make."

"And I am eternally grateful your holy parts are still in working condition after those trials. But we are at crisis again and I believe we can use these people here to solve our problem."

The Chief looked stupefied for a moment before realization dawned on him. "You are correct, underling. The gods have demanded a virgin sacrifice to keep our lands fertile. You were very wise in finding someone else to take on that burden."

Gohan could feel a weight drop in his stomach. Sacrifice? A virgin? Oh dear, sweet Kami, he just knew he would have to be on that alter of theirs to make that sacrifice. Please, oh please, someone just shoot him now.

As the two natives turned their attentions to the edgy class, the Chief then spoke "It is of grave importance that one of you who is a virgin to help us. Our God of Fertility, Himen, has lost his strength to withstand another season of growth, sweat, and blood. In order to replenish his sacred power, a virgin amongst you must give yourself to him."

Slowly, the students began to turn their heads to the most obvious virgin amongst them.

Videl Satan.

"Oh no, you have to be kidding me!" Videl protested. "I am not letting some tribe I've never heard of to use me to restore some god of theirs to full strength." Everyone seemed to take a step closer to the girl, their focus completely on her. Feeling a bit nervous, she blurted out "And why is everyone assuming I'm a virgin? I could've done it too, ya know."

That was when Erasa stepped in to counter the dark-haired girl's argument. "Well ya see Videl, everyone knows you haven't had a boyfriend ever and you're not the kind of girl that'll just sleep with anyone just because. It's common knowledge, Vi."

"Thanks for the commentary, Erasa," Videl said through gritted teeth. "But I'm not the only virgin here. It's practically impossible for everyone here to have had sex already!"

Almost unconsciously, the students began turning their attention from the Satan girl, looking at the only other possible virgin in their midst.

Son Gohan.

Gohan could feel himself gulping. Outed by someone he thought was a friend. Life was just not fair.

"Hey, step aside," one of the students said to him, much to his surprise. Taking a step to one side, Gohan soon saw who everyone was looking at.

Sharpner.

"Hey! I've had sex before! With a girl too!" he objected.

"Oh really?" one of the students said. "Name one girl you've been with."

Sweat seemed to be pouring off the boy. "Well, there was that…umm…that one girl…you know…from the class…she likes candy and…and rainbows! Yeah, definitely rainbows!"

A skeptical look overcame the students' faces simultaneously. "You just described a number of girls at school. Can't you name anyone?"

"Of course I can! I just…have a hard time remembering names is all. Let's see…there was that one girl called…umm…I forget her name. But she was smoking hot! A total babe that anyone would kill to be with, guys and girls!"

"Enough!" the Chief suddenly said. "It would seem there are at least two virgins in your group. One of them must be sacrificed. Choose between them."

"That's not fair!" Sharpner shouted, an enraged strangled noise coming from Videl.

"It is fair because I say so, so choose."

Gohan was really starting to feel sorry for those two. Somehow a bit of luck had come his way and no one had realized he fit the necessary description needed. Thank you Kami! But right now, he really needed to find a way to get the class out of here and hopefully with both of his friends in tact. With the close scrutiny on them, it wasn't like he could slip off, become Saiyaman, and handle the situation. He needed—

Videl suddenly broke his concentration. "I have a question for you people. Say that I was to stop being a virgin, would you still use me for your sacrifice ritual?"

Every member of the Kuwabara tribe rolled their eyes. "If you're not a virgin, you are as useless as a pile of deer dung," the Chief said.

"So will you at least give me the chance to," here Videl winced at the words she was about to say, "lose my virginity? It's only fair since I'd have to make a big sacrifice."

The Chief paused momentarily as he considered the girl's words. "You make a very good point. Fine, you have until the sun reaches the treetops to change your virgin status or we will use you for our ceremony."

Immediately, Videl began looking around the group, seeing many excited teenage boys as the prospect of getting lucky was placed right in front of their faces. Sweeping her gaze over her options, her eyes soon landed on her last few options. First her sights fell on Gohan, which made him feel a bit nervous. Then her eyes moved to the guy standing next to him, Pen. Then her eyes moved to the next guy who was standing next to him, Sharpner. Then her eyes returned to Pen, then back to Sharpner again. Finally, she walked right up to the three and grabbed Gohan's hand. "Okay, I've got my partner. Where can I go to do this?"

Gohan's face went completely red, oblivious to the sudden stabbing of invisible knifes that were coming from the other boys. Oh Kami, why him? Why was he being put on the spot like this? How was he gonna be able to perform like this? Seriously, could someone shoot him now?

The Chief jerked one of his hands backwards, the thumb extended. "The temple has a room at the top. You can do the hugging parents dance there."

The next thing Gohan knew, he was dragged to that temple, stumbled his way up the staircase, and was nearly tossed into the room at the top. All the while, he felt a sense of foreboding about this whole endeavor. Was he really about to…do the hugging parents dance? He wasn't even a parent!

Looking about the room he had to say there wasn't much in it, just painted walls with the occasional embedded jewel sparkling in it and a large stone altar at its center. Turning to Videl, he saw that she was blushing madly, no doubt about what they were about to do. Feeling the need to break the ice, Gohan said "So…ummm…what now?"

At Videl's sides, her hands were clenching and unclenching as she remained unresponsive. Finally, Gohan heard her mutter "I can't believe I'm doing this," before she walked over to the altar. "I haven't done this before, obviously, so be gentle," she said as she sat on the stone surface. "The sooner we get this done, the better."

"Uhh…well…ummm," Gohan sputtered as his face went red. "I haven't…exactly done this either."

Videl stared at him for a moment before she gave out a sigh. "Just great. I don't know why but that makes me feel better."

"Perhaps if we just stay here for awhile, we can just say we did it," Gohan suggested, hoping he was saying something good.

When Videl looked at him, she said "Not a bad idea, as long as they don't come to check on us. You're not exactly the pervert I thought you were."

That was when the Chief's underling appeared in the doorway. "Many apologies, but we forgot to give you something." Out of nowhere a large cardboard box appeared in his arms, the man walking to Gohan and dumping it into his arms. "One must always be protected," he said. Turning around, he began walking out, pausing at the doorway to look at them once more. "And be sure to make loud noises. It always goes better with loud noises." Finally, he left the teens staring at the doorway befuddled.

Slowly Gohan peeked into the box, balancing the box in one hand as his other disappeared inside it. Finding something within it, he pulled it out and saw a box that said CONDOMS in bolded letters. Once again, his face went red, and then beyond it, reaching a state of redness only believed to be possible by exploding stars.

A strangled sound came from behind the Son boy. Turning his head, he saw Videl's own red face, but this time from anger, not embarrassment. Finally, she exploded. "What the hell is he making me do? Huh? Make loud noises? He'll be making noises when I get through with him! Pitiful, dying noises!"

Dropping the box on the ground, which landed on its side and spilled several more condom boxes, Gohan went over and placed his hands on Videl's shoulders. "Calm down Videl, we can still do our plan. We just have to add that into our act is all."

Videl's enraged eyes turned their attention to him. Oh boy, one wrong word and Gohan expected he'd be finding himself in a world of pain. "You want me to make sex noises for their benefit?" she said in a deathly tone.

Oh boy, he had no idea how this was going to end. Most likely not well. Before he could say his next words that would assuredly doom him, one of the jewels on the wall sparkled a little too brightly. Frowning, Gohan focused his eyes on it before moving to it to investigate. When he got to it, the Son boy began poking at it, soon discovering that the jewel wasn't a jewel at all. In fact, it felt more like—

"What are you doing?"

Gohan looked back at the Satan girl, who seemed a bit more calm than she was a couple seconds ago. "This jewel thing. I don't think it's a jewel at all. It feels too much like glass."

The Satan girl frowned before she said "Gohan, I want you to step aside."

"Huh? But why—"

The first thing Gohan saw was the Satan girl lean back onto one of her feet, her other one coming up in the air. That was all he needed to know as he dove to a side, her raised foot kicking out as it slammed into the wall, a loud war cry coming from her lips. For a moment, nothing happened until the cracks began appearing on the wall. As each second passed, the cracks grew bigger and bigger until that section of wall crumbled and fell apart.

Wow, it seemed Videl really did need to let out some anger.

Once the raining debris ended, the two found themselves staring at a large modern-looking camera, sitting atop a tripod stand. Both teens eyes went wide, an awkward silence filling the room.

And then Videl's anger returned full force. "They wanted to film us?" she shouted. "These savages hold us at knife point and force us to have sex for some exotic porn they want to watch? I don't care anymore, they're all dead!"

Gohan couldn't figure out how to work his jaw at the moment as he stared at the camera. What would his mother think if she knew he was in a smut film? Other than a violent outburst followed by threats of castration, the Son boy had no idea how this could possibly end well. And now he had a beyond infuriated Satan girl on his hands that was about to put who knows how many people into the ground. This day just kept getting worse and worse.

Yet, he had to at least try to sooth over the situation. It's what his father would've done and he had no choice at the moment but to try. "Perhaps they use it for something else?"

Videl's enraged face sent a look that burned into his flesh. "How on earth could they possibly be using it for anything else?"

"Well, there's an altar in the room, so it's possible they were filming other rituals."

Videl just continued to glare. "I don't know how you've managed to live this naïvely for so long, but it's really starting to get on my nerves."

"W-we can check any recordings on this to make sure. It'll only take a second."

All the Satan girl did was nod her head in concurrence, her heated look still scowling at him. Moving to the camera, Gohan began searching for the film logs, quickly finding them. Playing one of them, the viewing screen of the camera lit up, revealing the sight of the room they were standing in. Nothing seemed to happen for awhile, so the Son boy sped up the recording until two people entered the room, one male, the other female. Almost immediately they began cleaning the room, preparing it for some sort of ritual. Resuming the normal play speed, they both soon heard the two people chanting out various phrases.

Gohan could feel relief passing through his body. For once he was right and had possibly stopped needless bloodshed. How proud his father would be! Looking to Videl, she seemed to have lost her previous anger, though she still looked irritated. It was probably best he not say anything to—

And that's when they heard it. A strange sound neither of them were familiar with caused both to focus more intently on the camera screen. From what they could see, the couple were embracing each other and making what sounded like moans. Fascinated, Gohan continued to watch the screen until he noticed the couple tossing aside their clothing.

Immediately, Gohan turned the camera off, feeling his body shaking in place. "I-I guess I-I was wrong," he said shakily. Turning to face Videl, he soon found himself completely alone in the room.

"Videl?"


	8. Crazy and Violence Go Hand in Hand

The village of the Kuwabara Tribe was a mess. Huts were burning, trees were tore from the ground or broken at the trucks, their tops resting on the ground as their middles stuck in the air. The natives themselves were tossed about the village, bruised, bloody, and quite possibly had broken bones.

And in the middle of the disaster was Videl, still seething from her revelation in the temple. Fortunately she hadn't thrashed her classmates yet, seeing as they were all huddled together as far from the Satan girl as possible.

"Wow Videl, that was so hot!"

And then Sharpner had to add his two cents.

The dark-haired girl shifted her sights onto the approaching blond jock. It was more of a natural response that her vision began seeing red. It tended to do that when she was thoroughly pissed at the boy or just beyond the threshold of irritation. In other words, the way she usually saw him.

"Come here Videl, show the Sharpenator some of that sexy anger," the blond said as he walked up to the girl, his arms held out as he moved in to hug the girl.

The next thing anyone knew, Sharpner was sent flying into the air, his face mangled by bruises, blood, and missing teeth. The boy stayed in midair until he hit a tree that had the odd luck to be still standing after the previous violence. However, instead of simply hitting the tree, Sharpner went right through it, leaving a Sharpner-sized hole through the tree's truck. He crashed to the ground soon after, a lying heap of injury and pain.

Videl just stood where she was, her right fist held out in front of her, her arm fully extended. Huffing loudly, she turned away from her jock's fallen body and the cowering mass of her classmates.

It was then that her infuriated eyes fell on a very shocked Gohan. He looked like a goldfish, his eyes bulging out of his head, his mouth wide open as he tried to say something about the wreckage around them. Walking up to him, Videl grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it down, his head coming down to her level. "We're leaving. Now," was all she said before letting go and walking off.

It was several moments later that Gohan came to his senses and tried to get the rest of the class to follow her. It took several minutes before anyone would do so, keeping outside a thirty yard radius of the girl. For that, Videl was grateful. She didn't need some dumb teenager to reignite her anger. She had just had her therapy and just needed to cool off.

Pity anyone that would cause her to need a little more.

* * *

The sun was setting on the horizon. That was the bad news. Any minute now, crazed murderers and rapists would appear and start picking off the student body, killing the girls and raping the guys. It was a nightmare unto itself, especially the guys. There was no telling if they would be raped and murdered, or just raped and somehow pass their remaining days a former shell of their selves. Even Videl couldn't fight off every attacker, especially if she was the first one picked off. Not that that would happen, but when you're a teenager far from the safety and comfort of home and haven't been in the outdoors since scout camp, then anything was possible.

At least, that was the way Gohan figured his peers would be thinking. One look at their faces as they grew more and more terrified told him that it was indeed what they were thinking.

Fortunately, Videl had calmed down since the incident the Son boy would refer to as the Kuwabara Massacre. Though angry with anything that would move initially, Gohan confidently felt that if such monsters as the above-mentioned attackers came, she would fight them off. No worry there. Plus, if he had to, he had the ultra-cool Saiyaman costume he could put on and save the day! But that would be a last resort sort of thing. He couldn't just disappear for awhile and reappear as Saiyaman, then disappear and reappear again as Gohan. Too many eyes and a very observant Satan girl were just waiting for that too happen.

Ahhh, so many pressures in the life of a teenaged demi-saiyan.

Yet, there was a more pressing need for him: food. He…was…starving! In fact, he had been forced to the back of the teenaged mass due to people getting freaked out about his vocal hunger pains.

But for every piece of bad news, there was fortunately good news. They had found the highway, albeit a different section of it than the one they had crashed off of. And despite the cars that flew by with their headlights on, none would stop to pick them up. So technically this was a piece of good news with a little bad tied to it. But you had to take what ever good news you could at a time like this. Beggars and choosers and all.

And that was when the teacher-chaperone made himself known for the first time since McDowell's. It was nothing short of amazing how he could disappear and reappear at odd points. "Alright students, I know this looks like a bad situation, but it could always be worse."

"And how could this possibly get any worse?" one of the students asked.

"Well, instead of walking down a highway at dusk with no ride whatsoever, we could be running from a hoard of starving zombies that want nothing more than to run us down and rip open our torsos so they can pry our still beating hearts out and eat them."

"…Thanks Teacher, we really needed to know that."

Gohan dropped his head, feeling the weight of the entire day on his back. Apparently the teacher didn't have any idea how to comfort teenagers outside of their natural environment. Neither did he to be honest, but he was sure that explaining a worst-case scenario wasn't the way to go about comforting them. By the end of the night, he was sure he would have to go about looking for them as they scattered off into the woods out of fear. Yep, that sounded about to be his luck today.

"Now students, I will teacher you the proper way to hitchhike for a ride," the teacher announced. Unfortunately for Gohan, he was too caught up with the fact the teacher had actually used a noun as a verb to hear the rest of the declaration. He wanted to correct the teacher, really he did, but the teacher was too consumed with his sudden lesson plan to care what he said. "Notice how I am facing my body is parallel with the road. My arm closest to the road is held at a ninety degree angle and my hand is balled into a fist. Now, this is the most important part: notice how I have extended my thumb in the direction pointing behind me. Everyone, I want you to do the same thing. We might get lucky and someone will pull over."

And now he was giving hitchhiking lessons. What was next? Really, what was next?

"And ladies! If you got shapely legs, roll up them pants and skirts and show them off! There might be a trucker who hasn't seen a woman in the last three days and he might be desperate."

Okay, he may have asked that question a little too early.

"And remember everyone, when you get a ride, there are some rules you will have to follow. If someone invokes the _Unwritten Book of the Road_, you will be at their mercies. If they want you to perform oral sex, you will have to take one for the team and do so. Now I don't know about you kids, but I'm going to make sure I get a ride with a woman."

"Umm, Teacher?" a student spoke up meekly. "Why don't we just go to the hotel across the street? Perhaps we can call someone for help."

A mass of heads turning revealed that there was indeed a hotel on the other side of the highway. It was two storied, so there was at least a chance they could get some rooms for themselves. Neon-lighted lights blared out into the growing night, the words "Hideout Hotel" spelt from them.

"What are you an idiot? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of," the Teacher said, sounding annoyed. "And I would know a dumb idea when I hear one, I am a teacher." Looking at this flabbergasted group of students, he then looked across the street and then exclaimed "Hey kids! There's a hotel over there! Perhaps we can spend the night and see if can get any help! Who's with me?"

Gohan couldn't decide if he wanted to blink in bewilderment or frown in contempt. He opted for a healthy mix of both, which produced quite an unusual expression. Finally, he went to the default sigh of resignation. It was best to just "go with the flow" as his fellow teenagers would say. At least it was a good idea they would have to follow and not some harebrained scheme.

"Sometimes, I have no idea how he became a teacher," Videl said next to him, causing the Son boy jump. How the heck did she get there? And when? Perhaps Vegeta was right, he was getting soft.

Oh Kami, did he really just agree with Vegeta? Yeah, it was getting late. He needed to get some sleep before he started thinking Roshi was speaking the gospel.

"So um, how are we gonna cross the street?" Gohan asked the smaller girl. "I get the feeling the whole group is gonna try crossing at once, scream at an oncoming car and start running all over the highway like headless chickens."

Videl turned to give the Son boy a skeptical look. "You really think something that idiotic would happen?"

In response, Gohan just returned the girl's look. After a moment, Videl muttered "Kami damn it." Then louder for the Son boy to hear, "I guess we'll have to take control of this whole thing. You stay on this side and I'll cross to the other. We can send them over one at a time."

Gohan nodded his affirmation. "Sounds like a plan."

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Videl shouted, getting everyone's attention. "We're going to cross this street like people with normal sized brains. I'm going to cross first to show you all how to do it the right way. Gohan will stay here and tell you when you can start crossing. We'll be doing this one person at a time so that we don't have a bunch of idiots running around on the highway. Understood?"

"Hey! Who said you were in charge?" the teacher demanded as he stormed to the two. "I'm the oldest person here, so everyone should be listening to me! And I say we all cross the street at once like a giant blob. Nothing can go wrong doing that!"

Videl stared at him for the longest time, then said "Let me guess, you read that out of a textbook, didn't you?"

"What's your point?"

"You do realize that a school textbook doesn't have all the answers to life, right?"

"Hey, if my textbooks are wrong, then I don't want to be right."

"Fine." Turning to the rest of the students, Videl said "Anyone who wants to cross the street the teacher's way and most likely end up getting hit by a car traveling fast enough to leave you as a pancake on the road, you can do it his way. If you want to go one at a time, with a smaller chance of this happening and a greater one of living pain-free, then you can do it my way. Which do you choose?"

Needless to say, the students need for an authority figure telling them the ways of the world urged them to choose the teacher's way. Their more basic instinct that screamed for survival wanted Videl's way. A true conflict of interest.

They ended up choosing Videl's way. Blast that survival instinct!

With the teacher grumbling, Videl and Gohan put their plan into action. It wasn't much of a chore for Videl to cross the highway, always on the lookout for speeding cars. When she arrived on the other side, she motioned for Gohan to begin sending the students over.

Looking both ways, Gohan put his hand on the first student he could find and pushed him forward. Like a wind-up toy, he walked straight ahead, not bothering to look either way in case a car was bearing down on him. Amazingly enough he made it across safely.

It was a repetition of this same occurrence, Gohan pushing someone into the street and they would either do a combination of running or walking across, looking or not looking for oncoming traffic, or they would run back and cling to Gohan as if their life depended on it. Typically, it was the guys that did the last one.

Sighing in irritation, Gohan sent one such student that had ran back screaming. It had been awhile before he could pry him off and send him out into the highway, not exactly paying attention to the traffic this time. Prying off scared jocks was not a fun activity, no matter how comical it could look.

And then Sharpner arrived next to him. "This isn't so hard," he declared as the student in front of him successfully crossed. "Stand back, Mountain Boy, I need no assistance!" With as much confidence as he could boast, the blond boy walked onto the highway, not the least bit worried of the potential dangers around him.

That was until a truck horn blared out of nowhere, causing Sharpner to stop right in front of it, looking at the headlights with a perfect deer-in-the-headlights expression. A loud smack was heard and Sharpner went flipping through the air, landing on the pavement soon after with a thud.

Gohan just blinked at the sight. Was…was Sharpner dead? Was he actually dead? There was no way he could've survived that! Even with his strange ability to shed off wounds that was one thing even he couldn't shake off. It…it…

Oh Kami, did somebody soil themselves?

Looking at the leftover students behind him, Gohan could definitely say that not one, but many of them had soiled their britches. Not that he could blame them, watching someone get plowed into by a truck wasn't an everyday occurrence. It was just that the stench was not very pleasant.

You can trust him on this one.

Turning back to the road, Gohan then witnessed something beyond miraculous. Sharpner's body…it was moving! The Son boy watched as the still form twitched, then an arm slowly raised and dropped. Then the torso was raised, slowly getting back onto its feet. Finally, Gohan heard "I'm okay!"

And then Sharpner got hit by another car.

This time, Gohan cringed by the hit. Okay, maybe Sharpner could withstand high-speed collisions. It didn't change the cringe-inducing scene. It was fortunate that Sharpner wasn't a filler character; otherwise he would've been another government statistic at this point.

"Umm, I think it's someone else's turn to go," Gohan said, motioning for someone to step up.

Instead, the teens that were left ran by the Son boy, rushing over the highway with disregard to anything speeding towards them. Even the teacher was with them, though it shouldn't have been surprising. He had been the one to suggesting send everyone over at once.

Surprisingly, there were only two casualties of that mass hysteria. Two students had the unfortunate luck of running in front a bus and becoming windshield passengers of it. Well, they were filler characters at this point, so it probably wasn't a big loss.

And then Sharpner shouted "I'm okay!" followed by another car hitting him.

* * *

To Nameless Reviewer: No worries. I plan on finishing this one. I won't stop until that Completed caption is up.

To SesshyLover: Hopefully the result of violence was up to your liking lol.

Fun Fact: I borrowed the _Unwritten Book of the Road _from _Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back_. I guess you can consider this a disclaimer of sorts.

Fun Fact 2: When Videl's giving the students their choice of life and death, I'm sure you noticed how she made one options less desireable and the other more desireable. That's a common marketing trick, puffing up one's product over another. I knew my degree would come in handy somewhere.


	9. Welcome to the Hotel Madcap

The lobby of the Hideout Hotel had the feel of a Bed and Breakfast. Wooden floors, bland wall paper, furniture that belonged to a different era, yet were comfortable enough to lounge in. Then only thing that contradicted the image the place was trying to set was a large desk counter with greetings and travel brochures falling off of it. A large board with hooks on it hung from a wall, key rings with keys on them hanging from the hooks. Other than that, it was a nice little place to go to when trying to get away from it all.

And then a class of teenagers barged their way in.

"What is this place?"

"Can we get the internet here?"

"Is there a cafeteria here? I'm starving!"

"Seriously, what is this place?"

And other such questions and comments were made as the city-bred students stared in bafflement at a setting in which running water probably wasn't available. This would prove to be a very valuable experience for the teens if they weren't too empty in the head to notice.

As Gohan and Videl entered the lobby, they were deep in discussion whether two or three students were an acceptable number of casualties, Sharpner not included as the last they saw of him, he was flipping through the air like a beach ball. "I'm starting to feel bad that we lost anyone," Gohan said, a little down.

"I wouldn't lose too much sleep," Videl replied. "It was just Natural Selection at work, weeding out Nature's weak links."

Well that sounded a little heartless. "Uhh, and that makes you feel better?"

"I have to tell myself something, Gohan. I can't save everyone when I'm out fighting crime, so I have to find someway to cope."

Huh, that oddly made sense. The demi-saiyan supposed he shouldn't dwell on the past and look to the future. Nothing could be done to change what had happened…

…unless he had a time machine…

"Welcome to the Hideout Hotel, how may I help you?" a kind voice said from the front desk. Turning their attention there, both teens saw a lovely looking woman with a head full of blue hair, an orange ribbon holding most of it out of her face. Her light green tank top drew immediately attention to her bosom as many of the students with Y-chromosomes found out. She seemed oblivious to the suddenly lust-filled stares the male-half of the students started giving her.

Rolling her eyes at the sudden increase of testosterone levels in the room, Videl marched up to the front desk and began explaining the situation. "We were on a school field trip and our ride…uhh, broke down. We were wondering if we could possibly spend the night here or at least stay until we can contact someone to come pick us up."

"Oh my! That's terrible! I'll help any way I can!" the woman exclaimed. Turning to her computer, she began typing a few keys and then smiled widely. "I believe I have room for everyone here to stay the night. How shall put you into your rooms?"

Immediately, the boys began picking girls, one of their arms wrapping around the closest girl around the shoulders. While some girls seemed excited by this prospect, there were others that seemed absolutely terrified. For a moment, Videl felt like she was in a poorly-written story by a kid that lived in his parents' basement and liked to make crude jokes about teenagers. Why couldn't something, anything go her way during this trip?

And then she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders. Slowly turning her head, the Satan girl found the arm's owner belonged to none other than Sharpner, her fellow student who just happened to have tire tracks crossing over his body at various angles. "We'll be sharing a room. Together. Just the two of us," he said to the woman, his eyebrows moving up and down suggestively. "Of course, you're welcome to join us if you—"

That was as far as he got as Videl embedded her elbow into his gut. Jerking up the same arm used to cause the blond bodily harm, the back of her balled fist slammed into his face, knocking the jock to the floor concussed. "_I_ will _not_ be sharing a room with him," Videl said through gritted teeth.

The blue-haired woman just blinked at her. "Then who do you wish to room with?" It seemed the thought that anyone could have a room to their self had not crossed her mind. Turning around to look at her choices, she found that she was practically out of other choices. Sharpner, as she had already mentioned, was not an option. That left a couple of kids she didn't recognize, the teacher—who was doing some last minute grooming, combing his hair, freshening his breath, etc.—and…

"I'll be rooming with him," Videl said as she pulled a very surprised student out of the mass of teenagers. A brilliant smile soon crossed his face, eyes shinning at the possibilities before him.

And then he collapsed into a pile of boneless jelly, his smile still on his face. To be more specific, it was almost as if he lost the ability to stand on his own, though from the look on his face, it was quite possible that his mind had shutdown from the thought of being in the same room with Videl. What ever it was, it seemed he would be spending the night on the floor. "Or not," Videl couldn't help but say as she looked at her not so sturdy classmate.

Well, this wasn't going to work. "Is there anyone else you can room with?" the lady asked, once again missing the possibility of giving the dark-haired girl her own room. Videl thought about offering this idea, but then thought that since she was giving them a place to sleep for the night, she might as well do as she wished. Closing her eyes, Videl reached behind her and grabbed the first thing her hand landed on. It was something soft, from what she could tell. Was it…yes, it was hair. Pulling the hair, she forced it onto the front desk, the thud of the hair owner's head hitting the wood surface coming soon after. An "ow," was heard as well, coming from a very familiar voice.

"I'll be staying with this person," Videl said as she opened her eyes. She found Gohan's head resting on the front desk, looking bewildered by the sudden development. At least she didn't grab Sharpner…

The blue-haired woman stared at the Son boy for a few moments. "Umm…have we…met before?" she asked in a confused voice. "You look familiar…"

With his head still on the desk, Gohan began scratching the back of his head. "Umm…no, I don't believe so."

"Oh well, it's probably nothing. People always confuse me for someone else," the lady waved off, her cheerful mood returning. Grabbing one of the keys, she handed them to Videl. "This is your room key and number. Have a nice night!"

* * *

Sharpner grumbled to himself as he walked down the halls of the hotel. The halls were a stark contrast to the lobby, the floor having that familiar hotel carpet designs, the striped wallpaper on the walls, and room doors at specific intervals. A few fichus tress sat at various points in the hall, an attempt to add some decoration. Yet this didn't matter to the blond's mind. For some reason, he was the only guy that didn't have a girl for a roommate. Instead, he had the teacher, who was even less thrilled being roomed with him than he was.

Life was just so unfair! He was drop dead handsome for crying out loud! Any girl would die to wake up in his bed after a night of drinking too much. He was a chick-magnet that drew girls to him with the flick of his long hair. He was all that and so much more.

Your wildest fantasy come to life.

And that was what puzzled him about Videl. She seemed hell bent on causing him more physical pain than pleasurable pain, particularly to his groin. Said that she wanted to prevent any other Sharpner-spawns or something like that. And now, instead of being treated like the princess that she was, she was in a room with the Mountain Boy and his mind was doing everything it could to drive him nuts with that fact.

Like a nice little scene where both were naked with inconvenient, black censorship boxes over the best parts of Videl, though it thankfully covered Mountain Boy's less desirable parts as well. They were both doing the horizontal mamba and saying how it was great they could do this and with Sharpner never part of it. It was maddening to say the least. It should've been him with the black censorship boxes, not them!

That was when Sharpner came into a hallway where a blonde woman stood, an attractive body and very short yellow shorts telling the blond he had hit the jackpot. A heavenly light descended onto the woman to show that Sharpner's thinking was indeed correct.

Thank you Kami, thank you.

Putting on his sexiest expression, Sharpner strutted up to the woman, slapping her on her shapely rump. "Hey babe, your knight in shinning armor has just arrived."

* * *

Contrary to Sharpner's thinking, Gohan and Videl were not in mid-coitus. Instead they were lying on the bed, parallel to each other. Each person's feet were by the other's head, their arms folded underneath their own heads. It was completely silent other than the sounds of their own breathing.

Finally, "How many people think we're actually having sex in here?" Videl asked out loud, sounding very bored.

"Probably all of them, plus the readers from the previous scene," Gohan answered in the same bored voice.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna—"

The sound of gunfire suddenly sounded off, causing both dark-haired teens to jolt up into sitting positions. Looking to the door, they could see light flickering underneath the crack between the door and floor. A girlish scream could be heard just barely despite the rat-tat-tat of the gun. A moment later, both teens had run to the door, swinging it open.

What they found was the closest thing to a warzone. Bullet holes riddled the walls, smoke leaking out of the fresher ones. A small fire was burning one of the few fichus trees that sat in the hallways. Some furniture was turned over, also riddled with bullet holes.

"Come out coward! Come out and take ya punishment like a man!" a pissed off voice shouted, followed by another round of gunfire. Following the sound, the two teens soon found the source of the destruction, a blonde woman in a green tank top and short yellow shorts. Her heard was turning from side to side, searching for the "coward" who deserved her scorn.

Odd, Gohan could've sworn he saw a similar outfit earlier…

"Hold it right there!" Videl declared, moving towards the blonde. Turning around, the blonde immediately unleashed another round of gunfire at the Satan girl.

Fortunately, Gohan had managed to tackle the headstrong girl and hide them behind an overturned table. "Hold your fire! We don't mean you any harm!" Gohan cried out, hoping that would put an end to the shooting.

Surprisingly enough, it did. "Both of yous, stand up nice and slow." Following the instructions, Gohan slowly stood up, Videl following him soon after. They both found the woman pointing her gun at them, her green eyes focused on their appearance. "Pfft, yous ain't that bastard I'm lookin' fah," she said, lowering her gun slightly.

"Who are you looking for, out of curiosity," Gohan asked.

"Some blond guy that touched my ass. There's only two people that can touch _me_ there, and I'm one of them. The other one ain't him," the woman said. Then it was as if a light bulb lit up in her head. "That reminds me!"

Reaching behind her, she pulled out a small, square piece of paper. Fiddling with it, it soon unfolded into a much larger piece of paper. "Have either of yous seen these guys? I've been lookin' fah 'em fah a long time." Showing them the paper, Gohan first frowned then widened his eyes.

On the paper were two crudely drawn boxes, most likely done in crayon. In one of the boxes was the drawing of a bald man with three eyes, the other a small white child with a cap on his head. Under the boxes, the words "Wanted: Ded Sexy Man & Mime" were written. If Gohan had to take a shot in the dark, he would've sworn the two in the picture were Tien and Chiaotzu. But why would she be looking for them?

Deciding to play dumb—which wasn't that hard of an act at times—Gohan was about to ask who they were when Videl beat him to the punch. "Who are these guys and why do you want to find them?"

The woman stared at the two suspiciously before she spat on the ground. "The bald guy name's Tien. The mime is Ch…Chia….I just call him Mime."

"Are you looking for them because one of them touched your ass?"

"Hey, are you patronizin' me? You betta tell me that was just my imagination playin' games Girly, or yous will be the body I bury under the crap house!"

As Videl began to seethe at the woman's threat, Gohan decided to intervene for the continued health of the room's occupants. "What's your name, Ms.?" he asked. Perhaps he could get a better idea of whether he should help her out if he knew who she was. So far, he wasn't recognizing her at all, and he was a bit reluctant to out a couple of his friends to someone he didn't know. Though he probably wouldn't out them if he did know who she was; he had no idea where they were so that made the point relatively moot.

"Name's Launch. Not, Ms., not Mrs., or Ma'am, just Launch." That was when she squinted her eyes at the Son boy. "Say, have I seen yous from someplace? Yous look familya."

Gohan blinked his eyes. That was the second time this night someone had asked him that. And if he wasn't mistaken, the first person to ask that wore the same outfit Launch here was wearing. That was peculiar, to say the least.

Videl seemed to realize the same thing. "Hey, that's the second time I've heard someone say that to Gohan. Who exactly are you thinking about when you're seeing him?"

Apparently, Launch did not like having the interrogation turned on her. Raising her gun once more, she pointed it at the Satan girl. "If I was yous, I'd keep my purdy mouth shut fah my own good. Otherwise, Mr. Tommy Gun is gonna make sure it don't open again, capiche?"

Vide glared at the blonde, but held her tongue. She knew when to back down, but the moment that woman dropped her guard, she was gonna show her how useful Mr. Tommy Gun would be in pieces.

That was when one of the unharmed fichus trees tipped over, revealing a singed Sharpner, a deer-in-the-headlights expression on his face as he looked towards Launch. Upon seeing him, Launch's rage exploded. "There ya are ya damn pipsqueak! Eat lead!"

And then chaos reigned once more.

* * *

To SesshyLover: They can be quite inconvenient at the worst possible times lol.


	10. Bargaining With Lunatics

Gohan stared at the payphone, wondering if this was really a good idea. He already knew what was going to happen, but that still didn't stop him from wanting some other option. With the way his luck had been all day and now night, any other alternative would probably end worse. Sighing to himself, Gohan finally picked up the receiver, put his money into the coin slot, and then dialed the phone number.

The Son boy only had to wait for the second ring when a woman's voice answered. "Son residence, Son Chichi speaking."

"Hey Mom, it's Gohan," Gohan greeted. "I—"

"SON GOHAN! WHERE IN BLAZES ARE YOU? YOU'RE LATE FOR DINNER AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOME HOURS AGO! YOU BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW MISTER, OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

Well, that was about how he thought this phone call would go. Though he was expecting maybe a harsher punishment, it was probably best that he didn't ask for one. His mother could be accommodating that way. "Mom, calm down. I was just calling abo—"

"Don't you tell me to calm down, Mister! I work tirelessly to provide for my family and this is the thanks I get? Oh, woe is me, a mother to raise such delinquent son! Where did I go wrong?"

Oh no, not again. Not another guilt trip! Why was his mom so good at these things? It was enough to make him not want to have a wife of his own. Who knew if she would know this sort of thing.

"Mom, I was just calling to tell you what's going on," Gohan repeated. When he only heard silence, he continued. "The bus for the field trip…uhh, broke down. We're staying at a hotel for the night."

"Is that all? Why didn't you say so earlier?" he heard his mother say. Yeeeah, it wasn't as if he hadn't tried. "I had a search party ready and everything." Silence passed. Then in a deathly tone, "Why didn't you call sooner?"

"Because this was the first chance I got?" Gohan suggested. While that part was true, he should have called his mother the moment they arrived at the hotel. Some lounging and a gunfight had delayed that though.

"Oh really. Why didn't you use your cell phone? You could've called from that and don't try to say 'there's no reception.' We both know that's a bogus excuse."

"But…I don't have a cell phone."

"Oh."

Well, that was another half-truth. He could've borrowed someone else's cell phone now that he thought about it, but the thought hadn't crossed his mind the entire day. Goes to show how taxing the day had been on his thinking process. "I'm sorry I worried you, Mom. Things just got out of hand today."

"That's okay, honey. When do you expect to be home?"

Now this was tricky. To be honest, he had no idea how long the field trip was suppose to be and the permission slip had been less than forthcoming on what was suppose to happen on it. It was a miracle that Chichi hadn't even read it and just signed on the dotted line. He needed to come up with a reasonable excuse that could give him a couple days of time. "Well, I don't know when the school will send another bus, so I'm not really sure. I'll let you know what's going on when I find out."

"Well, as long as you're safe, that's all that matters. You be sure to tell me when you're coming home, young man. I don't like having you out of the house late at night."

"Alright Mom, I'll talk to you later."

"You do—Goten! Get your hand out of—" and that was all Gohan heard as the dial tone came on. Looking at the receiver, Gohan then hung the phone up and began walking down the hall. At least that was out of the way. Now he had to handle some other business. Stopping at a door, he opened it and found the sight that he had expected to see, since it was the same one he had left earlier.

Videl was sitting at the corner of the bed, her arms crossed over her chest and eyes narrowed in a glare. Sharpner was lying in a heap of body parts and bullet wounds, some of his blood leaking onto the floor. Sitting in a wooden chair was Launch, her hands being held behind the chair's back due to a pair of handcuffs.

It had taken quite awhile to stop Launch's earlier rampage. Apparently, Videl carried a set of handcuffs on her person at all times—you never knew when she would be called out of class to put the hurt on someone. Gohan didn't really want to know where she kept them though. From what he could see, there weren't any pockets on her t-shirt or shorts, so it did beg the question of where she kept them.

But that was something that would have to wait for another day. Once Launch had recommenced shooting, Videl had pulled them out and sent them flying at the blonde, knocking the gun out of her hands. A second later had Gohan tackling her with Videl jumping on top of them for good measure. After a lot of struggling, and Gohan taking a few elbows to his eye from someone, the teens had managed to subdue Launch and restrain her with the handcuffs.

And that led to their current predicament: what were they going to do with this crazed woman and her need to kill Sharpner? At first, Videl had been all for letting Launch get rid of the boy, not that he could blame her. But his conscience didn't want any more dead or non-returning students on this trip, so he had managed to persuade the Satan girl not to unleash the gun-toting blonde.

"So, call ya mommy, Mama's Boy," Launch taunted, looking directly at him. Gohan decided to ignore it. He'd heard similar taunts at high school where most teens were more vicious. Hey, he had to learn something at school, right?

Instead, he spoke to Videl. "So what do we do with her now? It's not like we can just let her go or she'll start shooting again."

"Hey, I can be good. Look at me, I'm being good," Launch interjected.

Both teens ignored her, again. "Well, we can't stay up all night and babysit her," Videl said. "And I don't want to have to do some stupid shift arrangement to just watch her."

"Hey! I said I was bein' good already! Look at me when I'm talkin'!"

That didn't leave many options. They needed sleep but they also needed to keep an eye on Launch. Otherwise, who knows what would happen. If only they had been able to find that one blue-haired woman, she might know what to do. And it didn't help that their captive had this need to be the center of attention, as if the whole universe revolved around her...

Why did that sound so familiar?

"QUIT IGNORIN' ME!"

And that was when Sharpner decided to wake up and make their problem so much bigger. "Hey! Are these two hotties about to make a bondage video? I wanna watch!"

Almost immediately, Launch began struggling in the chair, somehow managing to turn it to face the blond boy so he could see her murderous eyes as she tried to get at him. "I'm gonna rip out every single internal organ yous have and use them as balloon animals, you #*%$&! Yous gonna wish yous ain't never been born!"

While Launch was going on her ungrammatically correct spiel, Videl calmly removed one of her boots, tested its weight in her hand, then threw it at the blond boy. A loud smack was heard and Sharpner was on the floor holding his face in pain. A large footprint covered his face as he squirmed around in pain. "My face! My precious face! What'll happen to my future career as a model?"

Going back to her original position, Videl then said "Gohan, go get my shoe." Automatically, Gohan began walking over to Sharpner. He didn't really realize what he was doing until he had picked up the Satan girl's shoe. Since he already had it, he figured he might as well give it to the dark-haired girl.

Launch watch all of this was an eerily curious face. It was a bit shocking that she would stop her speech of murder and death so quickly. Then, "Wow, yous sure got your man whipped."

"Why is it that people think Gohan and I are sleeping together? Honestly, WE'RE NOT A COUPLE!" Videl reacted, obviously frustrated.

Unfortunately, Sharpner just happened to be in the same room to hear that. "You're not?" he practically shouted. Even the footprint on his face seemed to hurt less at this revelation. "So you two didn't have sex at the temple? Does this mean we can be a couple? It'll be great!"

Videl felt like hitting herself in the head with her recently retrieved shoe. Instead, she settled on throwing it at Sharpner again, hitting him once more in the face and leaving a second footprint there. "Shut up Sharpner. Gohan, get me my shoe again."

Once again, Gohan went to retrieve it, realizing again what he was doing as he picked it up. "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" he asked himself out loud.

By this point, Launch was looking at the two with a very amused expression. "Fah two kids who ain't involved, yous sure act like it," she couldn't help but say. "Or perhaps that funny-lookin' boy is ya slave, huh girly?"

Videl huffed. "If it'll shut you up, yes, he's my slave." Then almost naturally, she turned to Gohan and said "Slave, get me a drink. I'm thirsty." And once again, Gohan followed the order to the letter, leaving the room to fetch her desire. Blinking as she stared at the closing door, Videl felt that for once, perhaps she was more right than she had previously thought.

It was as Gohan had a cup of water in his hands that he realized just exactly what he was doing. That had been three times in the span of five minutes he had allowed a girl—a strong-minded one to be fair—to order him around like a servant. It was almost alarming how he just accepted her command without question. Sighing, Gohan just hoped she didn't say "Tell me all your secrets." He'd probably spill half of his life story by the time he realized what he was doing…for the fourth time.

Wait, he shouldn't be doing this. He needed to stand up for himself! He had to show Videl that he wasn't a boy that would do her bidding like a half-wit lackey. You know, like Sharpner. He was Son Gohan, a man of high moral standing and had a brilliant mind to rival geniuses. He should take this cup of water and throw it in her face and tell her he wasn't her slave. Oh yeah, that was the ticket.

And then the Son boy sighed as his head dropped dejectedly. Yeah, that all sounded good in his head, but like that Launch woman said, he was whipped. Plus, if he did do any of that stuff, Videl would probably murder him in his sleep. They were sharing the same room and all.

As he returned to the room, he found it much like the way it was when he had left it. However, Launch and Videl had taken to a staring contest, the former seeming to enjoy it while the latter was fuming for some reason. Gohan wasn't sure what to make of it, but he had the distinct feeling that he wanted to stay out of it. Yet, he did have the cup of water in his hand.

Guess he had to break their stalemate…unfortunately.

Walking towards Videl, Gohan began to inform her of his arrival when two things happen. The first was that he tripped. The second was that as he fell to the ground, the contents in the cup flew out of his hand and hit Videl on her torso. Shaking his head from his recent fall, Gohan suddenly felt the room drop in temperature. Slowly looking up, he saw Videl giving him a murderous stare as her white t-shirt became very translucent. In fact, the Son boy could plainly see the bra she wore under her shirt, a sports bra apparently. Unfortunately, that bra was also white and starting to do its best impression of her wet shirt.

Oh crap.

Launch roared with laughter at the sight. "Oh man, he sure got yous good!" The blonde didn't seem the least bit apologetic when Videl turned her glare to her; in fact, she started laughing louder.

That was getting worse and worse by the second.

Almost on cue, Gohan could feel something building up at the base of his nose. Slowly, it worked its way down until he could feel it gathering at the entrance of his nostrils. Quickly wiping his nose, the demi-saiyan immediately found his finger tips covered with blood.

He really needed to stop jinxing himself.

Fortunately, Videl didn't seem to notice his quandary. She was still consumed by the many thoughts of murder and how to get rid of the body. Launch, however, seemed to be finished with her amusement and was just staring at the girl passively. Since the two were facing each other, Launch was the only one getting a good look at Videl's clinging shirt, something that was getting old very fast. "Ya know, I've got other shirts heres. If I give yous one, will yous let me go?"

"Let me think about it. How about no," Videl replied. She probably didn't trust the blonde any further than she could throw her, Gohan mused; though the Satan girl could throw someone really far, so perhaps that metaphor wasn't the best one to use.

"I ain't got nos problem with yous two," Launch tried again. "The only one _I_ want to kill is that shrimp in the corner. I promise I won't come after yous if yous just lock me and the Goldilocks in here."

Gohan perked up. For some reason he thought Videl would agree to this arrangement, mostly because she had been trying for years to get rid of the blond. The Son boy had found a notebook of hers at her desk once and it had been covered with doodles of different ways she could get rid of the jock. Even poking him in the eye with a hot French fry had been one such method. To be honest, it still gave him nightmares.

And like he predicted, the Satan girl seemed to like the idea. "If I let you have your fun with him, would you still loan me a shirt?"

"Sure, why not? My room's next to the front desk. Take anythin' else and I'll have to kill yous."

Out of nowhere, Videl pulled out a small key. "Slave, let her go," she said as she tossed the key to Gohan. For once, Gohan resisted the urge to do as told. He couldn't let a friend be killed while he could do something about it! "We can't do this! Sharpner's our friend! He doesn't deserve—"

"Do you know what assisted suicide is, Gohan?" Videl interrupted. "It's where someone wants to committed suicide and has help. If you don't do as I say, I'll assist you with yours. Got it?"

Well, can't say he didn't try. Unlocking the handcuffs, he watched as Launch rubbed her wrists, standing up to make good on her promise. "Nice doin' business with yas," the blonde said, her attention focused on Sharpner.

The next thing Gohan knew, Videl had grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room, closing the door behind them. It wasn't very long after that they both heard girlish screams from the other side.

* * *

To SesshyLover: Well, if Sharpner wasn't dead before, he will be now lol


	11. Rise and Shine Wackos

Gohan wasn't too sure when the sun decided to show itself at the edge of the horizon, but he was glad it did. It was a new day and that meant the craziness of the previous one was now over.

Unless that craziness decided to bleed over into this one that is.

It hadn't taken Videl and him long to find Launch's room after they left her to her own devices. Once they had found it, they quickly went in and searched for a suitable substitute shirt for Videl. While they did find a white t-shirt, it wasn't of the baggy variety that she was so fond of. In fact, none of Launch's clothes were baggy, which ticked the dark-haired girl off a little. So she settled on that t-shirt, its length fortunately reaching to her thighs. Unfortunately, the shirt was tighter than her usual one, so her figure was a lot more noticeable in it.

And then the two had gone to bed. No, not in Launch's room, they had gone to theirs; after all, they hadn't been that stupid to take the crazed blonde and Sharpner there. Once there, they had fallen on the bed and fell asleep.

It was to the sight of Videl snuggled into him that Gohan found when he awoke. For a moment, he just stared at her before thinking of all the nasty things she would do to him if she discovered herself in this position. So after not finding the will power to save his own neck for several minutes, Gohan managed to slide himself off the bed, not disturbing the Satan girl in the slightest. Since neither had bothered taking their clothes off, Gohan was ready to get his scrawny butt out of that room and perhaps find some sort of breakfast for himself.

So this was where Gohan found himself, standing at the front desk and waiting for someone to show up so they could tell him where he could fill his belly. He didn't want to be rude and ring the little bell on the counter, but his stomach was starting to get agitated. If he didn't feed himself, things were not going to be pretty. It fact, one could say it would be ugly.

Very, _very_ ugly.

Sighing, Gohan decided to ring the darn thing and hope no one would be sore at him. Hitting the bell a couple times, he then waited for someone to show up. The Son boy was surprised to find the blue-haired woman from the night before show up, a cheerful expression on her face. "What can I do for you this morning?"

"Umm, I was wondering if you knew where I could get some breakfast," Gohan said.

"Oh, we have a complimentary breakfast through that door there." At this, the woman pointed her hand at a doorway the Son boy had failed to notice earlier. "It should all be out now, so enjoy!"

Gohan smiled. "Thank you so much, Ms…"

The blue-haired woman didn't miss a beat. "Launch."

For a moment, Gohan paused at that. Was it possible there were two women with the same name? Well, naturally in this world there would be but at the same hotel? No, no he didn't need to bother with it. No more crazy mysteries for this demi-saiyan. Instead, he thanked the woman and headed onto his next objective.

To eat!

* * *

It was fortunate he had been the first to eat. That way none of his classmate would've seen the carnage that he had done to the hotel's buffet table. Pastries, cereals, fruits, pancakes, and waffles disappeared without a trace. The only evidence of their existence was the crumbs and smears that covered the Son boy's mouth.

Oh yes, the taste of satisfaction.

But now Gohan had another problem. He wasn't sure if someone had called the school for another bus and if so, where it would be. Well, it looked as if he would need to figure all this out since he seemed to be the only sane person in the class. He doubted the teacher or the bus driver would've done anything to remedy the situation.

Getting up from his seat, he made his way back to the front desk, the Launch woman still at the front desk. The blue-haired one, not the blonde fortunately. Walking up to her, Gohan asked "Do you know if my teacher called for a bus to pick us up? I haven't heard anything about it and I thought you might've known."

Launch blinked at him for a moment before she looked around at the front desk. "I don't see any notes or messages about a bus coming, so I would think no. But if you need a bus, there are plenty out back you could use."

Gohan blinked. "Umm, could you show me where they are?"

Launch smiled at him. "Certainly. Follow me." Heading down the nearest hallway, the two eventually found a door with an EXIT sign hanging above it. Opening the door, the blue-haired woman led the Son boy out of it and it was there the demi-saiyan froze in his tracks. Dozens of buses were expertly parked across a large parking lot. There were a few cars too, scattered amongst the yellow vehicles.

"How did you get all of these?" Gohan stammered, still in awe at the sight.

"That's the weird part," the woman said next to him. "There would be reservations for these buses of students but they would all be gone before they checked-out. They even left their buses here. I've heard stories of a bunch of schools kids running and screaming down the highway, but I'm not sure why they do it. I mean, there are all these buses they could use."

For some reason, Gohan had a feeling the other Launch had something to do with causing those students to flee. Well, perhaps this was finally a bit of luck for this trip. Maybe. "Umm, would you mind if my class used one of these buses? I don't mean to impose…"

"Oh, please do. I can't find anyone that wants them so take anyone you like," Launch said, her voice sounding even more cheerful. "The keys are at the front desk, so if you would follow me."

* * *

It was about an hour later and one of the many buses was crammed with drowsy, cranky, or comatose teenagers. For some reason, every single one of them had the inclination to wake up at a time not labeled A.M. But with the help of Videl, who probably threatened them and made good on a few of those threats, they managed to load up the bus.

Surprisingly enough, Sharpner was still in one piece. After what had happened the night before, Gohan would've thought he would end up in many tiny, neat pieces. Life's little miracles, or so he thought.

"Hey Sharpner, you're…doing good," Gohan said as the blond strode towards him, mostly because the demi-saiyan stood next to the bus door. The Son boy was pretty sure that he'd be mad at him but instead was greeted with something quite different.

"Of course I'm doing good. You think I would walk out in public without being an image of perfection?" Sharpner said, seeming to show off his supposed good looks and physique. "You should've known that by now."

Gohan blinked bewildered. "Well…I kinda thought that Launch woman would've beaten you into a bloody mess last night."

"Oh she did that."

"Then how are you standing?"

"I got better."

That was when Sharpner began looking around the parking lot, almost as if he were expecting a certain someone to spring out of nowhere. He then leaned closer to the Son boy and whispered "Though this really weird thing happened. After I was lying in my own blood and could barely feel my legs anymore, she suddenly dyed her hair blue. It was the weirdest thing. One moment, she was holding a two-by-four and about to clobber me with it, the next she was wondering where she was."

Okay, did Sharpner eat some mushrooms last night? He was starting to sound crazy, not that he wasn't crazy to begin with.

"Naturally, I tried to charm her with my devilish good looks but then she just left the room. I would've gone after her, but the door hit me in the face. I couldn't go after her then cause my beautiful face had to be fixed again and—"

"That's…nice," Gohan interrupted before trying to push the blond jock onto the bus. "We're about to leave so go find your seat."

"Heh, just like a Mountain Boy. You can't handle that mature words of a real man," Sharpner said as he began to climb the bus steps. "Let me know when you need someone to tell you about the producers of eggs and the little pricks that provide honey. I'll tell you everything you need to know."

Gohan just nodded his head uneasily, a weak smile on his face as he tried to hold back that shiver that was crawling down his spine. That was a talk best to have with someone else. Even Goten and Trunks would be better people to talk about that with than the blond and they thought a stork was the way babies came about. They had even built an elaborate trap to catch him once.

Vegeta had been the one to fall for it.

Shaking himself out of that particular memory, Gohan began looking around to make sure that everyone was on the bus. Videl was still in the hotel looking for any stragglers, meaning the entire class.

Oh wait, there she was. Seeing the Satan girl emerging from the hotel alone, Gohan assumed there were no more students in need of searching and/or beating up. Once she arrived at the bus, she asked "Have you seen the bus driver? I can't find him anywhere."

The Son boy just stared at her. "You mean we don't have a bus driver anymore?"

Videl groaned as one of her hands pressed against her forehead. "Just great. With our school, I bet he was the only one that knew where we were going and now he's MIA. That's a great way to start a day."

Gohan began scratching the back of his head. "I wonder where he went."

* * *

The Bus Driver leaned back, a cigarette in one hand, and a nice blanket covering up his immodest and pudgy body from the waist down.

This…this was the life. There weren't any annoying teenagers to bug him and these natives seemed to like him a lot, especially after they found out he was a virgin. Well, scratch that, these Kuwa-berry people made sure he wasn't a virgin anymore. In fact, there was a group of semi-nude woman panting heavily or were comatose from his appetite.

They sure don't make women like they used to.

That was when the chief appeared, looking at his sexy bod warily. "I believe he's done enough to sate Himen and complete our future porn videos. It's time to finish the last part of the ritual."

Alright! There was a second part to this thing! "Okay, I'm ready to pound men if they're ready."

The sudden silence and wide-eyed looks from the rest of the tribe told him he might have gone a little too far with that comment. "Uhh, hey I'm a total woman lover. Completely and totally straight, nuh uh, you won't see me batting for the other team, not that there's anything wrong with that of course."

The chief just sighed with a miserable tone. "Let's just get this over with. Now where's that sacrificial knife?"

* * *

Well, now what could they do? There wasn't anyone on the bus that knew how to drive a bus, much less knew where they were going. They were pretty much stuck here until some miracle happened.

"Where do you think you're going!" the teacher suddenly shouted, rushing out of the hotel as he was putting on his shirt and shoes.

Umm, could they get another miracle?

"Hello Teacher," Videl greeted unenthusiastically. "We were just loading the bus so we could leave, but we have a problem. The bus driver is missing and we don't know anyone that can drive this thing or knows where we're going."

"Hogwash," the Teacher scoffed. "I'll drive this tin can. If that Neanderthal can drive it, my education should make it as easy as quantum physics."

Gohan paused for a moment. "But aren't you a History teacher?"

"I don't see where you're going with this."

"Well, ummm, physics and history are two different subjects."

"Pfft, history, math, it's all the same. Now get on the bus before I leave you in the dust. Hey, that rhymed!"

Gohan just hung his head before climbing onto the bus. Apparently, anyone that got behind the wheel of the bus was consumed by a power for hunger. Or was it hunger for power? Which ever, it just spelt bad things for his and the class's immediate future.

As he walked down the isle, it seemed the class had taken the exact same seating arrangement as the last bus. There was even an empty seat behind Erasa and the just seated Videl that he usually sat in. Sitting down, Gohan couldn't help but feel lucky as he had his own seat for once.

Truly the high point in a teenager's life.

"Hey Videl, nice top," he heard Erasa say in front of him.

That was greeted by an "I don't want to hear it Erasa," from Videl.

"No really, Vi. It looks good on you. You should wear them more often."

Meanwhile, the teacher/bus driver was getting cozy in the driver's seat. Inserting the key into the ignition, he couldn't help but clap like a little kid as the engine revved to life. Now, which one of these doohickeys made the bus go forward? Grabbing one of the levers, he shifted it down and pressed his foot on the gas pedal.

Immediately, the bus lurched backwards, backing into the side of the bus parked behind it. A loud scream came from the students from the sudden action. At that point, Gohan wished he was sitting with someone so he could hold onto them for dear life.

"No worries, I got the hang of this thing!" the teacher called out as he messed with the other levers of the bus. This caused the windshield wipers to begin moving, the blinker to turn on, and the Stop sign on the side to extend. Eventually, the bus began to move forward as the teacher declared "See! This isn't so hard!"

Infamous last words.

* * *

To SesshyLover: I wouldn't blame him for it lol. He does it for his mother and I'm pretty sure any girl he winds up with (coughVidelcough) would be the same.


	12. Locked into Delusion

Hours had passed. Non-stop hours of teenagers bracing for impact as the teacher proved he was as good of a driver as a five year old child. The bus swerved all over the road, causing other cars and trucks to blare their horns as they tried to get out of the bus's warpath. That usually ended up with massive wrecks and pile ups and once or twice a large explosion that made every one scream like babies. For once, Sharpner wasn't alone in his girlish screaming.

A very, very sad fact.

"Why is everyone such bad drivers?" the Teacher muttered as he swerved the bus again. "Can't they learn to drive their cars properly? Like me!"

Gohan gulped as he saw a car just barely dodge the bus, coming within mere inches of scratching its yellow side. Why couldn't his class have a decent driver? This teacher was making the bus driver look competent! Please, Kami, anyone, stop this madness!

As if to answer his prayers, the shrill sounds of sirens occured, causing everyone to cheer as a couple police cars appeared behind the bus, many students praising their arrival. It wasn't every day a cop was useful, especially the ones in Satan City. In fact, the only competent officer was on the bus and she wasn't in a good position to pull the bus over. She wasn't in the mood to get a detention after all.

Grumbling, the teacher eased the bus to the side of the road, the two police cars stopping behind them. A few moments later and a couple of officers emerged from the cars and casually walked up to the bus door, one of them rapping his knuckles on the fiberglass window.

"Don't worry kids, I'll handle this," the Teacher announced as he pulled the door leaver. Once the doors were opened, the two cops climbed the steps and looked at everyone on the bus. "What can I do for you, Ossifer?" the Teacher asked.

Gohan blinked his eyes. What did he just say? And why did he get the feeling that nothing good was going to come from this? Ugh, curse this disastrous trip!

Both policemen looked at each other, before one of them said "Son, have you been drinking?"

"Ossifer, I swear to drunk, I'm not Kami," the Teacher replied, grinning like an idiot. From the way things were going, he probably was. It was a wonder how this guy actually graduated with a teaching degree.

As one of the cops muttered something about the day not even being noon yet, the other one said "You wouldn't mind if we have a look about the vehicle, do you? It's standard procedure in these…uhh, types of situations." As he said this, he pulled out a large flashlight, clicking the light on as it shined into the Teacher's face, causing him to squint.

Gohan looked out the window of the bus, finding it brightly lit. Why in the world was a flashlight necessary? Must've been something he learned at police school or something.

"What's the Ossifer, problem?" the Teacher said as he waved his hand to get the light out of his face.

"You've got a broken taillight," the first officer said as began walking down the bus aisle. "Though I get the feeling we'll be finding a couple other things." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled something out of it and held it bundled up in his hand. As he approached the back of the bus, he began to stretch out his arms, casually dropping the object as it fell to the floor. Acting as if he suddenly saw it, he said aloud "What do we have here?" Kneeling down, he picked up what appeared to be a plastic bag, some powdered substance within it. Opening it up, he sniffed the substance, his eyes narrowing. Looking to a student, he then said "Is this yours?"

The student shook his head frantically. "N-no, it's not mine! I've never seen that before in my entire life!"

The cop just stared him down, making him shrink away. "A likely story." Standing up, he held the bag up for all to see and shouted to his partner. "I found something! I think its coke, but I'm not too sure."

"Why don't you do a line to make sure?" his partner called back.

"Hey, you can't do that here!" the Teacher protested. "There're students here! If you want to do drugs, do it outside the bus!"

"What does a teacher know about drugs?" the cop next to him demanded as he put the flashlight close to his face. "And how would you know it is drugs? Are they yours? You better explain yourself."

The Teacher sputtered. "Your partner just shouted that he thought it was crack! How else would I know? Damn it, man! I'm a teacher, not a drug dealer!"

"That's what they all say. Turn around with your hands on the back of your head."

"You're arresting me? You can't do that! My union won't allow it!"

"And my union says that if your union gets in the way of me doing my job, I get to use force. So what'll it be: you wear the handcuffs peacefully or I beat the crap out of you with my trusty nightstick and then you'll wear the handcuffs peacefully? It's your choice, boy."

The teacher looked like a goldfish, his eyes bug-eyed and mouth gaping open. Finally accepting where he was going, he did as he was instructed, the metal clicks of the cuffs ticking away his teaching job as the handcuffs were fastened on his wrists. Boy, was his union going to be pissed about this.

"Hey, who'll drive our bus now?" Sharpner suddenly protested, standing up from his seats as the two cops looked at him warily.

The one from the back then said "I'm going to tell you once, boy, sit down in your seat and don't interfere."

"Or what? You'll beat me with your little clubs? That's police brutality and you won't get away with it! We have Videl Satan sitting right there and she'll uphold the law!"

Both cops blinked before one of them said "Who?"

Sharpner seemed to be taken back by this, along with most of the students, including Videl. "What do you mean 'who'? Videl Satan! The daughter of the World Champ Hercule Satan!"

"Son, I ain't never heard of this Satan guy or his little girl. Right now, you need to seat back down or you'll really regret that big mouth of yours," the same cop said.

"What is it with you backwater hicks and not knowing the Great Mr. Satan? First that Mountain Boy and now you two," Sharpner shouted. "Are all the people in the boonies as dumb as—"

The policeman who wasn't busy arresting the teacher began to stretch his arms again, this time his nightstick in hand. Casually, his club hit Sharpner in the head with a loud crack, dropping the blond instantly. "Oh sorry about that. I have this condition, you see. It makes me stretch at random times and people always seem to get hurt. Don't really know why that is. Right now though, I feel like I need to touch my toes."

And as the cop bent over to touch those toes, his club went swinging through the air until it collided with Sharpner's body, causing him the cry out. As the cop straightened out, he bent over again, once again swinging his club and hitting the blond jock, his cries of pain becoming more and more girlish with each hit. "Boy, you got a purdie mouth," the cop said as he finished his "stretches." I wonder what other noises you can make."

"Alright, I've had enough of this,' Videl declared as she moved out of her seat. "I understand the need to beat Sharpner, but this is going too far. You're not even doing it right."

"Girl, do you want to get arrested too?" the cop barked at her.

Videl glared at him. "Just try it."

* * *

"You just had to say that, didn't you Videl? Just had to dare them. Look where you've gotten us this time," the teacher complained loudly.

A large vein was pulsing on the Satan girl's forehead, an irritated expression on her face and her arms crossed over her chest, her hands clenching and unclenching. She was a volcano about to erupt and anyone next to her would be covered in boiling lava. There would be much screaming in the very near future.

Unfortunately, Gohan knew the Satan girl would have a hard time letting her anger out on the teacher. The first reason was because he was on the other side of the jail cell. The other reason was that the entire class was crammed in between them, the large number of bodies barely able to move without touching someone else. In fact, the bars of the jail cell were starting to bend from the strain of having so much weight and pressure against them. Why the police felt it was a good idea to cram as many people into one small cell was beyond the Son boy, but they had been determined to do so. Then there was a small exchange of money as some people had been on the losing side of a bet. It didn't take too many guess as to what the bet was.

Gohan sighed. This was just going to go so well with his mother. Thrown in jail for some unknown reason and with little choice than to wait until someone sprang them out, Gohan began to wonder if this whole field trip was exactly what the school had thought would happen. Probably not since the school administrators were too incompetent to put together an Erector Set., much less plan a trip this screwed up.

Yet that was the least of his worries. If his mother ever caught wind of this little incident, there would be hell, and possibly heaven, to pay. He'd be the most likely victim for the blame and there was nothing he could do to stop an unjust punishment.

Life was just so unfair.

Feeling someone from behind him bump into him, Gohan was pressed against the bars, which gave a slight groan. It was too much to hope that the bars would break, thus freeing them all from captivity, so the Son boy just had to endure his uncomfortable position. Once the pressure was gone, he leaned back, finding out that leaning against the bars wasn't the best of choices. There was some sort of stickiness on them and they just had to transfer over to his clothes. He didn't even want to know what the substance was, he just knew that not only would he be punished for being in jail, but his mother would make him wash his clothes afterwards. What a lovely day this was becoming.

"Hey Cop!" Sharpner called out from next to him, which caused Gohan to frown. Hadn't Sharpner been one of the first people thrown into the cell? He should've been on the other side. Ugh, why did he bother using logic with the blond? No matter how many times he tried to make sense of his actions, Sharpner always seemed to violate any form of logical thought that would be in affect for anyone else.

And this was coming from someone that ignored the laws of gravity.

"Hey, I'm talking to you, you donut-eating slobs!" the blond called out to a couple of officers that seemed to be ignoring anything that moved. Upon the utterance of the rude name that had been aimed at them, they snapped up and glared at the blond, who shrugged it off like a tank shell hitting Saiyaman's chest. In other words, it blew up on him and cut him up with shrapnel, but he ignored the pain because he was a man, a girly man but a man nonetheless. "Finally! I've been yelling at you for hours. I want my phone call now."

"You want a phone call huh?" one of the cops said, sarcastically. "Alright, here it is." Moving his hand to the side of his face, he extended his thumb and pinkie finger, the former held by his ear and the latter by his mouth. "Ring, ring."

Copying the cop's actions, Sharpner answered the "phone." "Hello? Is this my lawyer? Good, I want to sue the crap out of these donut-packing cops pronto. Think you can get it done by lunch?"

In a high-pitched voice the cop then said "I'm sorry, the number you dialed is not in the registry. Please hang up and dial an existing number, you moron." Lowering the "phone" from his face, the cop placed it on his desk, saying "Click."

"Damn it, I must've dialed a wrong number," Sharpner muttered. Turning to his stupefied classmates, he asked them all "Does anyone know the number for a good attorney? Don't worry; my girlfriend Videl will pay any and all legal fees since she has money."

A fist collided with the blond's face, causing his head to whip back and bang against the metal bars. Sharpner then slid down to the floor, his scalp bloody and the rest of his limited mental capacities on hiatus. The cops were laughing raucously from the display almost to the point of turning purple from lack of oxygen. It would be their luck the two would die from asphyxiation and they would be blamed for it. What? With the way their luck has been lately, you'd think pessimistically too.

Sighing for the umpteenth time in this fic, Gohan began looking through the bars again, hoping to find some random _dues ex machina_ that would get him out of this cramped cell. Something, anything that no one would've thought of except the guy writing out the story of his life.

Looking lazily around, the Son boy couldn't help but notice the pile of mops and brooms all crammed into a small metal bucket. By those were a few metal folding chairs that had seen better days twenty years ago. And above those was a security camera, slowly moving side to side in an attempt to watch any and everyone within the building.

Wait, that was it! Thank you random _dues ex machina_!

"Umm, sir?" Gohan called out to the cops, hoping to get their attentions. "Please, I need to talk to one of you. It's very important."

A rustling sound occurred behind him. "Gohan, if you're about to do what Sharpner just did, I guarantee you that what I did to him will look like a makeover compared to what I'll do to you," Videl's voice said.

Shivering slightly, Gohan did his best to ignore that threat. If his idea was going to work, he didn't need to be cowered out of it. That would be pitiful, even for Sharpner. "Sirs? Please!"

"What son? What do you want?" one of them snapped at him, annoyed by being interrupted out of what ever he had been doing.

"I just wanted to tell you you're in very big trouble," Gohan started, hoping to lead the men right to where he wanted them to go. Naturally, they took his bait as each of them rolled their eyes.

"And how are we in 'big trouble?' Last I recall, you're the one in jail and we're not."

"Well you see, I'm pretty sure the officers that arrested us did so illegally, especially with unnecessary force," Gohan replied. Once again, he got the rolled eyes. "I know you probably get claims like those all the time, but this time there's proof."

"Like what? One of your little buddies caught it on camera or something? Last I checked, there wasn't a camera in anyone's possession, so I doubt anyone in your cell magically pulled one out of their rectum," one of the cops retorted.

"Well, we were on a school bus and all buses have a camera above the bus driver's seat," the Son boy said. At that, both cops jolted up, their eyes widening in realization. Next to him, Gohan felt Videl appear against the bars, realizing exactly what he had mere minutes earlier. Or was it seconds? Perhaps they were running off of Namek Time, where five minutes lasted much longer than usual.

As one of the cops pulled out their nightstick and moved to go to the impounded bus, most likely to get rid of any evidence, Videl called out "I wouldn't bother going to destroy the camera now. It doesn't have the recording of the arrest in it."

"Oh yeah?" the one that hadn't pulled out his club responded. "And how would you know? Technology is a man's expertise, little girl. All cameras have recordings on them."

"Actually," the teacher suddenly piped up, "all recordings for the buses go to an outside source somewhere at the Bus Barn, making sure nothing damages the footage in case the bus is in a wreck. I'm sure someone will see the footage sooner or later and report what happened to higher authorities."

"What higher authorities?" the cop exclaimed. "We _are_ the authorities!"

"_Higher_…Authorities."

Both cops began to sweat, looking uneasily at each other. It was pretty obvious they hadn't been put into this sort of situation before. Mostly everyone they locked up was too stupid to form words or too drunk to be awake. This was practically unprecedented.

Damn their police school for not teaching them to handle these situations!

Before they could begin bargaining with the students, who were suddenly interested with the current development, Videl threw out an offer that was sure to not be refused, lest a certain Godfather became annoyed. "If you let us out right now, we can make sure the footage doesn't see the light of day. We go our way, you go yours, nice and clean."

Once again the cops looked to each other. It couldn't be that easy, there had to be a catch. There was always a catch in these sorts of situations according to the movies and as everyone knows, everything that happens in movies was real, just like wrestling. "There's some kind of catch to this, isn't there?" one of the ventured, trying to see beyond the nonexistent curtain.

Gohan heard Videl hit her head on the cell bars, not that he blamed her. He wanted to do the same, though he knew if he tried the bars would probably break and then the cops would claim they were trying to break out of jail. "No catch," the Satan girl said through gritted teeth. "Now unless you want your little brutalities on the 8 o'clock news, I highly suggest you let us out. Your livelihoods are on the line."

"Perhaps…perhaps we should keep one of you so you keep your word," the other officer said.

Seeing the Satan girl's grip on the bars tighten to the point her knuckles were turning a white so blinding Gohan almost searched for ski goggles, the Son boy knew his friend was on the verge of tearing the bars apart and kicking some cop ass. However, that line of thinking ended when a look of realization overcame her features. "Okay, sure. One of us will stay behind."

"Deal," both cops agreed, one of them rushing over with a set of keys and began opening the cell door.

Looking to the dark-haired girl, Gohan whispered to her "We can't leave someone behind. It won't be fair to the one left behind."

Videl just ignored him as the class piled out of the cell, many of them letting out sighs of relief that they now had some elbow room. "So which one of you is staying?" one of the cops asked, a serious look on his face.

"Him," Videl said, pointing at one of the students. As everyone turned, many students with a relived look on their face while some were doing jigs in the station, the cops grimaced at what they saw.

Sharpner's comatose body.

"Awww, can't you give us one of the girls?" a cop whined. "We have to say here for so long without any women folk. Do us a favor and just give us one of the sluttier ones! We're _lonely_, man!"

"Hey, you never said which student should be left," Videl countered, a smirk on her face. As both cops muttered something about a catch, they begrudgingly allowed the class to run to freedom and beyond.

* * *

To SesshyLover: Now he's in jail. Perhaps prison can do what Launch couldn't lol


	13. I Want This Madness to End!

The class hurried from the police station, fully intent on getting the hell out of dodge. After all, they had given them Sharpner as a consolation prize; it was only a matter of time until they wanted a refund.

According to the officers, their bus was in their impound lot, which was right behind the station. Like a fast-moving ameba, the class rounding the corner of the building and hurried to a fenced off area. This must've been the lot they were talking about. Looking about the place, the class couldn't help but notice how…industrious the police force was. Not only was their bus here, but a few more from different school districts as well. There were countless numbers of cars, ranging from old rusted pickups to some very luxurious and even more expensive sports cars. There were even a couple of helicopters from news organizations and a military tank. It seemed as if anything that moved stood a chance of getting locked up here.

"No time to sight see, get on the bus!" the teacher declared as he tried to herd the teens there. Unfortunately, the teenage mind was far too simple and easily distracted by shiny objects, such as a brand new sports car that just happened to be parked in front of the bus.

"Can someone hotwire this thing?" one of the students asked, holding his hand out to touch the car, yet something kept him from doing so. It could've been the heavenly glow that surrounded the car or maybe the fact there were several bear traps placed on it, but what ever the reason, many male students yearned to touch the car and yet didn't do so.

"Oh come on!" Videl shouted. "We just got out of jail and you want to steal a car right out of a police station? Get your brainless hides on the bus or I'll just hand you over to those officers. I bet they'd like you more than Sharpner!"

That got the students' attention as they backed away from the car and quickly climbed onto the bus. Not even bothering to make sure everyone was there, Gohan made his way onto the bus and into his seat. He just wanted to get out of this place; this horrible, backwater place.

What a sad day it was when even he could call something backwater.

Not paying attention to the other students as they seemed to go into a new seating arrangement, Gohan was just about to take up his entire seat once more when Videl sat down next to him, letting out a sigh before she turned her head to look at him. Blinking at her, Gohan had to wonder why she was there and what was controlling her brain to make her want to sit there. Never underestimate the power of brain control folks, it make people do weird things.

Very weird things.

"Don't say one word, Gohan," Videl said. "I know the rest of the people on this bus are morons, but if you say one thing that makes me think you're one too, I'll make sure there's no way you can make anymore brainless spawns, you hear me?"

Gohan just turned to face forward, not wanting to risk any potential damage to his very sensitive parts. He didn't even say a word when he heard Videl say "Good choice."

"Buckle up everyone!" the teacher announced from the driver seat, snapping his own buckle into place. "Now where's that ignition thingy again?" Unconsciously, all the students began reaching for their seatbelts, usually at the place where seatbelts would be if they had been in a car. Since this was a bus though, there were no seatbelts to be found, a simultaneous sense of fear gripped the student body. As the bus revved to life, the teacher grabbed the gearshift and jerked it down.

The moment he put his foot on the gas pedal, the bus lurched backwards, crashing into the vehicle behind it. Gohan wasn't too sure what it was, but he knew what it wasn't: useable. Once the backend of the bus lifted off the ground, Gohan was definitely sure no one would be using the vehicle for anything other than scrap metal.

"I got it, I got it!" the teacher shouted, despite the fact that his inferred control of the bus was rather lacking. Again. As he shifted into what he thought was Drive, he began pressing on the gas again, this time the bus not moving at all despite the growing roar of the engine. "Ahh, damn it, I think I brokeded it," the teacher said mournfully. For a moment, many of the teens that knew what happened were hesitant to tell their grammatically-incorrect teacher that he was in Neutral. Perhaps if he didn't notice, they could—

"Oh hey! I just put it in Neutral! Silly me!" the teacher announced. Shifting the gearshift finally into Drive, he then said "There we go! Onward ho!"

For a moment, many students wanted to cry. Some even did.

As the bus lunged forward, plowing into the formerly-captivating sports car and reducing it into spare parts, the students that were fortunate enough to have a seat buddy began holding onto each other out of fear and need for comfort. Gohan found himself in such a group as Videl's arms reached out and wrapped around his neck tightly. Looking at her, the Son boy was surprised that even the ultimate tomboy of tomboys was terrified of such bad driving. To be honest, so was he, but he figured Videl would've preferred skinning a man alive and flaying his remains over a fire being fueled by Sharpner's corpse. Perhaps she wasn't in the mood for that at the moment. Feeling somewhat brave, Gohan returned the embrace, breathing a sigh of relief when the Satan girl moved closer to him instead of ripping his head off. After all, her hands _were_ right next to his head.

Surprisingly enough, there wasn't much screaming from the students as the teacher began getting the hang of bus driving despite driving through the impound fence rather than the wide open gate. There was more whimpering if anything. Well, besides the few couples that suddenly decided that neither wanted to die a virgin or felt this would be the last time they would get lucky.

Gender didn't matter at this point either.

Once the bus pulled onto the highway, there were some sighs of relief. Hopefully there wouldn't be anymore highway carnage. Fingers crossed.

"About time," Sharpner grumbled as he relaxed in his seat, his arms crossing over his chest. For a moment, Gohan agreed before he remembered one very insignificant detail. What the heck was Sharpner doing on the bus? Wasn't he supposed to be knocked out in a jail cell?

Looking at the blond despite having a nice warm body and a bus aisle between them, the Son boy said "Sharpner, what are you doing here?" Immediately, Gohan felt Videl stiffen as her head began shifting to aside to see if the blond menace was indeed on the bus.

"What are you talking about, Brains? I'm supposed to be here. The permission slip said I could," was his answer. Not a good one and one that totally didn't answer his question. And did he really think "totally"? Gohan was pretty sure he hadn't used the word before, even in his head.

"But you were locked in a jail cell. I saw the police officers put you in there," Gohan tried to explain. "I don't think it's even physically possible to be in two places at once!"

Sharpner scoffed at the notion. Physics apply to him? Ha! Physics didn't apply to him, he applied to physics! "Don't get your tighty-whities in a knot, Mountain Boy. A little thing like prison bars can't keep me in one place."

Gohan frowned. "Did they let you out or something?"

"Yeah, for good behavior."

"Good behavior gets you out after five minutes?"

"I don't live by the rules, Nerdinger, I make them," Sharpner replied as he began examining his fingernails. "Probably got tired of me running the joint, especially after I made that Bubba guy my—"

"Ha! As if you could be the one giving it in jail," Videl scoffed as she finally entered the conversation. "You're more likely to be the one taking it. Is it just me or are you sitting very carefully there?"

Gohan blinked his eyes a few times before he caught on to what Videl was hinting at. Well, he caught onto it after he checked Sharpner's posture and he was pretty sure the guy was sitting very gingerly, as if he didn't want to move his hindquarters anymore than he had to. Sheesh, how did Sharpner managed to do half the stuff he claimed in the very short time he was in jail? The Son boy was fast in his own right, but Sharpner seemed to do things at a rate that even Saiyans couldn't keep up with!

Boy, was the Saiyan Fanclub gonna be upset about that.

"Oh hey Babe," Sharpner greeted as he brushed his hand through his not very golden locks. He had to jerk a bit when his fingers ran into some knots, which completely killed his very soave gesture. "I didn't see you there. I thought Brains there had a growth or something."

Gohan couldn't help but wince at that statement, mostly because Videl's grip on him suddenly tightened on him. It wasn't uncomfortable yet, but he was sure she might accidentally suffocate him. In fact, he could hear the Satan girl's teeth grinding against each other.

However, before any real fireworks could be done, the blond suddenly realized something; something so horrific to his miniscule brain that it practically jumped out of his head and went screaming down the aisle. "What…what are you doing hanging onto a…a…a nerd!" he demanded very dramatically. If one were to listen just right, you could hear the theatrical music of a soap opera playing in time with this revelation. "Videl! Babe! How could you do this to me? I thought we were a couple! We were one! Soul mates divided from each other because your daddy is rich and mine isn't! No, don't answer that. You don't have to say a thing. I forgive you for this little tryst…fling…thing. Just come back to Sharpner's loving arms and we can make this all okay."

Videl stared at the blond, unsure whether she needed to kill him or mutilate him, or possibly even both. Decisions, decisions. Instead, her mind fixed onto a plan that would most surely devastate and destroy the blond's ego and mind. Keeping her grip on the Son boy, she shifted until she was sitting in his lap, facing Sharpner and his still extended arms, completely oblivious to the reddening face of her new seat. "But I'm comfortable here."

Despite his new situation, Gohan couldn't help but watch as Sharpner cracked then shattered into tiny shards, piling on the bus seat and floor. He had heard of people having their worlds shattered, but this was ridiculous! But now, the Son boy had a new problem, oh yes, something he hadn't been worried about until this very moment.

Please, please Kami, don't let him get aroused.

A moment later and all such thoughts vanished from his head as Sharpner had somehow put himself back together and gave no indication he was ready to give up his continuous losing battle. "No Videl! Don't turn to the dark side! Nerd boy there is controlling your mind and making you do things that you should be doing with me!" Extending his hand out pleadingly, he then said "Here! Take my hand! Let…me…save…YOU!"

Both dark-haired teens stared at Sharpner's dramatically-dripping performance, the blond jock frozen in his pose. Then Videl shrugged and said "I've seen better. I give it a six for effort."

By this point, Sharpner was done wooing the Sating girl with Sharpner-logic. The Mountain Boy's hold on her had grown too strong for him to appeal to her better sense and even better body parts. "I know you won't like this, but this is for my own good!" the blond declared as he lunged from his seat, aiming to rip the famous daughter of Satan from the evil clutches of the Nerd King. "I won't let you do nerdophilia while I still breathe!" he declared.

And for all of his troubles, the bottom of Videl's boot making relations with his face was his reward. "Hands off," the Satan girl said, a vein starting to pulse on her forehead. It seemed she had lost patience with this turn of events. As her foot moved away, Sharpner's foot-imprinted face was surprisingly conscious. It took a few more kicks to this face and a few new footprints to cause him to lose all motor functions and fall back into his seat, one of his legs slightly twitching all the while.

A roaring ovation soon commenced as the rest of the class and teachers—the ones that had remained hidden for most of the fic—cheered on the ending of the scene. Truly, it was a masterpiece that all soap operas could use, violence and all. Even the teacher driving the bus had begun clapping, turning around in his seat to give his approval. That was until a car driving next to the bus blew its horn. Some people were just so inconsiderate of captivating moments.

Eventually, the class lost interest of the ended scene and turned to do what ever it was teenagers did on buses. Gohan, in the meantime, was wondering how long Videl was going to stay in his lap. He wasn't going to force her off, since he couldn't think of any nice way to ask her to move without sounding rude. And Videl seemed to be comfortable as she leaned back, resting against the bus wall and window peacefully, her eyes closed off to the world.

And then her eyes opened wide before narrowing into a glare aimed directly at him.

"Gohan, please tell me you keep a flashlight in you pockets," she said with a low tone, a not so veiled "or else" threat screaming behind her words.

Oh Kami-damn it, Kami! He thought the god was on his side for Pete's sake! "Umm, y-yes, I keep a flashlight on me a-at all times," he said, his sad-sack lie just waiting to be torn apart.

The Satan girl glared at him for a moment before accepting his claim, though it was more like she chose to believe it. Gohan was pretty sure she knew exactly what was beneath her posterior, but with all the insanity that had happened so far, perhaps it was best if sleeping dogs were to just lie.

And lie they would.

* * *

To SesshyLover: That was a very nice scene I must say lol. Police Brutality-such an awesome thing to joke about.


	14. Comfortably Nuts

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. This is indeed the last chapter. I got nothing else to throw at you because I can't think anymore. But more on that at the bottom of the page; I've got a disclaimer to do.

Disclaimer: Don't own Ryoko of Tenchi Muyo

* * *

To say that Gohan was uncomfortable would've been right and wrong. Wrong because he didn't quite mind being used as a chair; right because the rest of the class was starting to get very curious as to why Videl had yet to leave his lap. Gohan, though also curious, wasn't quite so insisting in knowing. A notorious tomboy had to get tired of this charade sometime, right?

Right?

"You're looking quite comfortable, Videl," the Son boy heard Erasa comment, the blonde facing them from the seat in front of them, an entertained expression on her face.

"If I look that way, I guess then I really am," the Satan girl replied, shrugging her shoulders. It seemed she hadn't given much thought to the choice of her seating arrangement, or at least that was the impression she was giving off. She had even moved to face forward, her back leaning against the Son boy's chest. It had been awhile since she had knocked Sharpner out cold, so her main reason for doing this was moot.

Fortunately, his "flashlight" had decided to disappear at some point.

"Think you'll be doing more of this?" the blonde asked, continuing the conversation.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"You do know I mean sitting in a boy's lap."

"Yeah." Videl's eyes then narrowed. "What are you getting at, Erasa?"

A sly grin appeared on the blonde's lips. "Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd say the two of you were a couple. After all, you don't sit in just any guy's lap." Then Erasa began to pout. "Why didn't you tell me you two had hooked up, Vi? I thought we were friends!"

Both dark-haired teens grew bright red at the implications. It seemed that not only had Gohan not seen that possibility neither had Videl. She was literally making two plus two in her head, though the Son boy could've sworn she was coming up with five for her answer. At this point though, it probably was.

By this time, Videl had managed to get her brain working into high gear to make some sense out of this head-smashing anvil of information. Unfortunately, there was a disconnection somewhere between her mind and her mouth as the only words that were coming from her was baby-speak, or also known as utter gibberish. Gohan was pretty sure a baby would've been able to figure out what she was trying say though. What he wouldn't give to have one of those drool-machines at the moment; you know, for translation.

Erasa, in the meantime, had plowed forward with her line of thinking. "Ooooh, that's just so cute! I wish I had a camera. I just know this moment won't happen in front of me again." Sighing, the blonde added "I just can't help but notice how your bottom and his lap fit together so perfectly."

What? Gohan blinked. What in the world did _that_ mean? It made absolutely no sense at all!

Apparently, Videl was in agreement with his silent thoughts. Or he managed to communicate to her that line of thinking via a telepathic bond that neither one of them knew about, though that was just as inane as the Erasa's comment of their body parts being jigsaw pieces. "Erasa, that's the stupidest thing I have ever, _ever_ heard of."

Erasa huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, though right beneath her bosom so as to push them up. Always had to make sure the goods were displayed and all. "No it's not," she defended, resisting the urge to point her nose into the air. "All of my romance novels and amateur fanfiction mentions that and if all those writers are wrong, then I don't want to be right!" Glaring at the Satan girl now, the Erasa couldn't help but add "Besides, there are dumber things."

Videl seemed doubtful of that claim. "Oh really? Prove it."

In response, the blonde merely pointed to a side, both dark-haired teens turning their heads to look. What they found was Sharpner's still-comatose body. Both teens let that sight be burned into their brains before turning away, Videl muttering "Cheater," as she did so.

"All is fair in madness and deceit, Vi," Erasa retorted triumphantly.

"Well, don't look too far into your far-fetched theory of me being part of a couple," the Satan girl grumbled.

"I don't see why you're fighting it so much. I mean, you haven't left Gohan's lap since you sat in it," the blonde said to complete her case.

Videl rolled her eyes. "I can get off of Gohan anytime I want. He's just more comfortable than these crappy bus seats. See, I'll prove it to you." Grabbing hold of the back of Erasa's and their seats, Videl pulled herself up, though found she didn't go very far. Frowning, the Satan girl lowered herself back down before trying to rise again, getting the same results.

Erasa cocked an eyebrow. "Having trouble getting up, Vi?"

"That's weird," the dark-haired girl said as she lowered herself back onto Gohan's lap, though to be fair, she never left it. Looking down, Gohan couldn't help but notice their clothes seemed to be melding to each other. As Videl tried to get off again, the Son boy saw that indeed their clothes were attached, almost as if they were sticking to each other like Siamese Twins.

Wait…sticking?

Oh no, this couldn't be good. Was that stuff from the jail cell some sort of adhesive and he, the guy with the brain to rival Bulma's, had smeared it all over the front of his shirt and pants? This just couldn't end well.

"Don't just sit there, help me damn it!" Videl shouted into his ear, causing a momentary deafness for the Son boy. Once his hearing was restored and his brain made sense of the Satan girl's bellow, Gohan placed his hands on her hips and began pushing her away from him, just as she was pulling away. Once again, they had the same result, except that Videl began growling like a rabid animal in frustration. Yep, this was just getting better and better.

"Perhaps if we stood up and tried to separate?" Gohan suggested, receiving a nod in affirmation. Standing up awkwardly since the leg room for the bus was cramped tighter than a sardine can, both teens grabbed onto the edge of the seats next to them, Videl on the aisle side and Gohan on the window side. With all of Videl's might and as much as Gohan was willing to put into it, both teens began to pull away from each other, going a small distance from each other before returning. This didn't stop them as they continued to pull and relax their arms simultaneously, trying to separate from each other. Videl had even bent over, feeling she would get better leverage that way.

And this was the sight that Sharpner came to as he awoken from his mild coma. Upon seeing Videl bent over in front of Gohan, her rump against his groin, both with their hands tightly against the seats as they worked, there was only one thought that came across his blond brain.

They were having sex without him. A travesty if he ever knew one.

"This can't be happening!" the blond yelled, catching the attention of everyone on the planet. That's what he liked to think happened anyway—after all, the world did revolve around him. Instead, he just got the attention of everyone within a couple seats radius as everyone outside of that area was too self-absorbed into their unimportant lives. "You two are…but…it can't be…that's supposed to be me!"

"I don't think Gohan would like you sitting on his lap, Sharpner," Videl replied, giving him a strange look. "Unless he swings that way and I didn't know about it."

"No! Not that! It should be me humping your brains out! Not Mountain Boy!"

Both dark-haired teens looked at each other questioning. Though there was an impending Sharpner-beat down coming up, neither seemed to understand why he would say what he said. A normal occurrence to be sure. It took awhile, but eventually both soon realized the position they were in and the actions they were doing, causing two very different reactions. The first one was Gohan becoming redder than a tomato and looking as if he wanted to crawl under something and die. The second one was Videl placing the palm of one of her hands against her face, a low groan of aggravation coming from her lips.

Unfortunately for them, Sharpner mistook that groan for a moan, something that didn't add to his depleted reservoir of sanity. And when a man like Sharpner was around, he refused to accept what he heard, bargained with a higher power that it not be so, rage against it, then finally accept it. Usually the next phase was to move on, but those two words being right next to each other never seemed to make sense to him. He was pretty sure that was code for a woman wanting him more badly than the happy relationship they were already in. He was pretty sure of that actually, though their actions seemed to say they didn't. So when such things happened, Sharpner had to make sure that he got the girl. That's what always mattered.

"My dreams, they're shattered," he moaned in regret, bringing attention back to him, where it should be. "I had such plans for us, Videl! Plans!"

"The only plan I have anything to do with you is how to kill you and make it look like an accident," Videl interjected.

"But that's okay," the blond jock carried on, showing no sign that he caught the Satan girl's words. "I…I think I can share you with that…nerd…behind you. I'm sure I can make do with that. And since I am in a giving mood, I have a surprise for you. Just unzip my—"

"Don't…_dare_…finish that sentence," Videl warned, a demonic growl coming from her lips. For a moment, Gohan had the feeling someone's blood would be shed this day and with him right next to it.

Sharpner looked at the girl, at first in fear, but then something else took over. "It's worse than I feared," he whispered. "Your brain's being controlled by that bumpkin behind you! Don't worry fair damsel, I the Sharpenator will save you!" Lunging forward, the blond tried to rescue the woman of his wet dreams, feeling as if Kami himself had approved of his noble cause.

Apparently the Devil intervened somewhere between his seat and throttling the Mountain Boy as one of Videl's fists moved right into his path, colliding with his face and stopping his rescue mission. Then for some reason, the dark-haired girl's fists kept bashing into his breaking body, making girlish cries erupt from his very manly lips.

It wasn't until Gohan wrapped his arms around the girl's waist and pulled her back that she stopped beating him. Though not the worst beating he ever received, he had seen better days. A few broken bones and wounds that leaked out blood was all he received this time.

Sitting them back down on the bus seat, Videl still in the Son boy's lap and seething for the umpteenth time, Gohan had to wonder when this thing would end. This was supposed to be a relaxing field trip to some unknown destination and…oh Kami, they hadn't even reached their destination. They would have to go through something like this on the way back.

This day just couldn't get any worse.

And just as if to prove him right, the bus came to a sudden halt, the brakes making a sound so shrill, it threatened to make all dogs cry as their human masters stared at them oddly. But since it didn't reach that frequency, it just made the students cry out as they grasped their ears in pain, their faces smacking into the back of the seat in front of them because of their moving inertia and their non-moving bus. Everyone except for Gohan this is; he had a small body to cushion his lunge, though it must've been very uncomfortable for Videl. When the abused teens were flung back into their seats, a nice faceprint stared back at them, some of them with the words "Have a Nice Day!" written underneath them.

"Weeeeee're heeeeeeeeere!" the teacher announced merrily. Disoriented, the student body looked out the right side windows of the bus and nearly collapsed out of disbelief.

Staring back at them was the pristine visage of Orange Star High School, sparkling from a heavenly glow that appeared out of nowhere.

"Umm…Teacher? This is the school," one of the students said.

"It is? Odd." Pulling out a piece of paper that held the coordinates of their destination, he made sure they were indeed where the paper said they needed to go. "Well I'll be darned."

That was when a deathly tone came from a very familiar feminine voice. "Are you telling me that the school sent us on a ride through the country just to come back to the school?" Videl questioned, her tone promising future tortures should her conclusion be right.

The teacher obviously heard the not so subtle threat. Stuttering, he said "I-I-I guess s-s-so."

Above the bus, a dark cloud began forming, reaching out over the metropolis of Satan City. A loud, painful scream echoed throughout the concrete jungle soon after.

* * *

"_This is Orikasa Ryoko for ZTV News. Earlier today, Satan City came under attack by a mob of disgruntled teenage students, all from the Orange Star School District. The cause behind their behavior is currently unknown, but as of right now, Downtown Satan City is on fire and spreading out into the surrounding suburbs. Police action has been taken but any attempt to quell the violence has been struck down harder than a blond guy getting beaten by a bag of hammers._

"_In other news, Videl Satan was seen running about the streets of Satan City without any pants on. An unknown teen with a weird haircut was chasing after her holding a pair of shorts. Gossip magazines and tabloids are currently investigating this unprecedented occurrence. In this reporter's opinion, which should be made into law—though I don't understand why any politician won't take me seriously—the daughter of the World Savior is having an affair with a 30 year old married man and became quite upset when he refused to leave his wife for her. In a bout of anger, she took to the streets to put him to sh—_

"_Just a moment…this just in. ZTV is firing their lead News Anchor, Orikasa Ryoko, due to a recent—hey, that's me! They can't fire me! I made this—"_

And off the television went.

Sitting comfortable in a living room, two dark-haired men who went by the names of Krillen and Yamcha just shook their heads in disproval. Nearby them sat Eighteen, who was busy coaxing her daughter into sleep.

"What is this world coming to?" Yamcha asked rhetorically. "I know people can be crazy at times, but the teenagers leading a revolt? Ouch."

Krillen nodded his agreement. "Must be something they're teaching in the schools." Turning his head to look at his wife, the monk said "See Eighteen? This is why we shouldn't send Marron to school."

Eighteen looked at her husband with a blank stare. "I never said we should send her. You were the one arguing with your reflection whether she was old enough to leave the island without supervision."

"I was? Huh. Honey, the next time I start thinking of something that dumb, could you give me a good smack to the head?"

"Consider it done."

Giving her a smile, Krillen turned back to Yamcha. "It's good to be the one that wears the pants in the—"

A loud whack was heard.

"OWWW! Why did you hit me Eighteen?"

"You were about to think of something dumb. As if _you_ wore the pants in this house."

* * *

The Principal turned on his computer, feeling utterly relaxed and tranquil. It was amazing how one could feel when the demon spawns called teenagers were nothing more than an afterthought. No worries of whether they were learning the academia material, no cares if they were behaving, nothing that had to be covered up because someone accidently blew up their fellow classmate in science class.

That tranquility disappeared the moment he opened his email.

He had been in a good mood when he brought up the first one. Upon reading how someone intended on using him as a lab experiment for the removal of certain organs crushed any thought he had of having a lovely weekend. Other emails got even gorier, including one that had something to do with using his special man parts for ping pong balls. Hell, these were worse than the ones the teachers' union came up with!

Finishing one that mentioned something about a frying pan and starvation, the principal was nearly in tears. Why? Why? Why did this have to happen to him? It was so unfair! Why couldn't these parents hate someone else like rational people? They should blame the union for this blunder, not him! They were the ones that made him do it!

He was only a man with little responsibility after all!

* * *

To SesshyLover: Awesomeness huh? I can go with that lol

Sidenote concerning Ryoko: I got the Orikasa surname from a Tenchi Muyo OVA, which I have never seen but it sounded like fun. I originally wanted to use Sota like I did in Unfriendly Competition, but alas he didn't fit the role. But Ryoko did lol.

I've enjoyed this little story, though I wished I could make it a little longer. I was trying something new with this one, which I think put a lot more detail into the story than I usually do, and I liked the outcome of that. It definitely made the chapters longer too, so that was a bonus as well. I know some of you are wondering why I didn't send them to a survival camp, or CC, or some other place that would most assuredly embarrass Gohan from the roots of his hair down to the nails on his toes. Well to start, I had no inclination to go to one of those places; I just wanted to focus on the actual travel of the field trip and make it go horribly wrong. I think I succeeded in that regard lol. So in the end, the destination didn't really matter, well, except to piss off the studenty body as the news report mentioned lol.

Anyways, thank you all who read and reviewed this story, especially you reviewers. Your words always leave a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Thanks again!

Until next time,

ShadowMajin


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